Compared to what?!?!

Why do people do this »» COMPARE?

What I’ve realized, as I ‘ve been working with my clients — and when I fall into comparison, is it brings feelings of inadequacy, depression, anxiety, fear, and self-pity. «« those are NOT lovely feelings! YUK!

Can YOU relate?

A lot of times comparison rears its ugly head when we try to “stack up against” character traits, roles, circumstances, and experiences – NOT necessarily material possessions. Some people think these things, let me explain by giving a couple examples:

  • MOM = I should volunteer more compared to some of the other moms at the school. It seems that other moms are more creative and crafty, scrap-booking, and doing little projects with their kids. We could compare ourselves with other moms wishing we were more creative or thoughtful that way. I should dress my kids cuter compared to how some of the other moms dress their kids or I wish I liked to shop like other moms. Other kids are involved with more activities than mine so I compare myself – should I sign the kids up to do more? Are they not experiencing enough at this age?
  • SPOUSE = I wish I was a better cook and more domestic compared to other spouses. I’m not as “handy” as that person! Why don’t I enjoy cooking and decorating my home? I wish I was more like others who planned meals and knew how to make their homes feel more “homey”. My home is not clean enough, organized enough, run as well as that persons.
  • FRIENDS = We see others’ circle of friends and think, “I want that!” We compare our life with theirs and wish we were invited more often to social events, parties, concerts, dinners. “They” seem to be having so much fun and doing great things. We think, “I want that too! Why don’t I get invitations?” We compare ourselves and ask ourselves questions like: Is there something wrong with me? Am I not good enough? Do others not enjoy being with me?
  • ME = I’m not passionate enough about what I’m doing compared to others. I don’t make as much money as that person. My thighs are bigger compared to that girls. I can’t do my hair well compared to that person’s — I wish I knew how to style my hair better. I’ve got no style with my clothes compared to others, I wish I could put together outfits like her. That woman is smarter compared to me – I wish I knew it like she did.

Do you ever find yourself thinking some of those thoughts?

Do you ever compare yourself, experiences, situations, to others and feel inadequate, depressed, anxiety, fear, or self-pity?

I could list many more “comparing thoughts” that race through my mind from time to time. And because I work with SO many clients, personally + professionally — I know we are NOT alone!

Our minds just go there sometime.

BUT — the question is »» COMPARED TO WHAT?!?! «« who holds the measuring stick?

We have the ability to CHANGE OUR FOCUS!

We can start shining the light on what God has blessed us with!

We can appreciate the gifts and talents in others, BUT not lose focus on our strengths and what we have been given!

I was reminded the other day of the story in the Bible about the 3 servants who were given talents. One was given 5, one 2, and the other 1. May we NEVER be like the servant who was given 1 talent. What did he do? NOTHING. Out of fear, he did nothing – he was comparing himself and as a result paralyzed.

Step OUT of the comparison trap and ALL of the icky feelings that come with it and step INTO shining the light on our blessings and talents, learning to appreciate our uniqueness and our many gifts — instead of comparing and wishing we had or were something we ‘re not.

What do you say? Are you with me? Hit reply and let me know your feedback!