In June 2002, I found myself living alone without another adult for the first time in my adult life. Since college I’d always had a roommate – one of whom was my former husband. I had two companions living with me but my six and three year old daughters needed me to pour into them.

I figured out ways to manage my new responsibilities. One means was organization. I cleaned house and did laundry daily so my home duties could not become overwhelming. I also reorganized my bill paying, errands and life management into a single binder so I had everything from grocery lists to addresses and stamps in a single location. I was so proud of my new financial binder – it was like my life was neatly held within its’ black bindings. It gave me a sense of order and control.

One Saturday I headed out to the mecca of my community, otherwise known as WalMart, with my life management binder in tow. I had my month’s allotment of cash, my grocery list, my home maintenance list and my credit cards. I was prepared for any eventuality. I even had my frequent flyer cards in case I needed to make a plane reservation on aisle 3.

In a matter of hours I had procured my groceries and supplies for the week, loaded my two little girls in the car and was headed back to our home for some weekend fun. On the way, I realized…

…my black binder wasn’t with me.

Like a cinder block wall, it hit me. I had laid my binder on the back bumper when I unloaded the cart. Faster than a mom can call through every name in the family, I made my way back to the parking lot. No binder.

I could not survive without its’ contents. I would not even be able to get to work without putting gas in my car. I turned to the only source of help I had – God.

As I prayed, my phone rang. It was a man reporting he’d found my belonging and wanted to return it to me. Relief raced through me, even though I expected it returned lightened of much of its contents.

Fearful of a stranger coming to my home, I met him and his wife in a parking lot. I thanked them both and returned to my vehicle. Every penny was still inside.

I may have thought I was in control of my life.

…I wasn’t.

But there was One who was guarding my path and my way even before I thought to ask Him for help.

He is the true Binding that holds my life together.

“Grace, that’s what we say before we eat.” My youngest son said when we started talking about this virtue today over waffles and eggs.

Yes, it is a short prayer recited before or after a meal to invoke a blessing upon the food or give thanks for it.  BUT…that’s not what we are talking about here.

We are talking about the free and unmerited favor of God shown towards man…

…GRACE

It doesn’t surprise me that we are talking about grace the day after salvation.

We are saved. by. grace.

To comprehend and wrap our arms around this extremely valuable, priceless gift  that we do. not. deserve. we must be intentional in learning more about God’s character.

Personally, I did not understand the significance of grace and what it meant for me in my life and through me …until a couple of years ago.  I lived the majority of my life carrying around loads of shame, guilt, and condemnation.  Salvation and Grace offer us FREEDOM — growing in grace allows us to receive that freedom and extend grace to others.

What does it mean to G R O W in grace?  I believe it is…

1. learning more of what God wants through His Word.
2. being able to do more of what God wants.
3. living more of the love of God.

As we grow in grace and knowledge the evidence will be an increase of faith, knowledge of God, and the fruits of the Spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

How does God help us G R O W in grace?  I believe there are many ways, through…

1. our life experiences, trials
2. His Word and devotionals
3. connecting with others
4. service and worship

We are just beginning this journey through these virtues and I can already see, there is just as much in this for ME as there is for me praying for my children.

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,
That saved a wretch like me.
I once was lost but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.

Father, may I continue to grow in grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, along with my children. Amen.

For a FREE printable version of 31 Biblical Virtues graphic go here
On Pinterest? Follow the board created here — and “pin” this page! =)

If you are joining us on this journey and you haven’t already joined the Keeping it Personal Daily KIP e-mail list, go HERE  and sign up — my daily virtue reflection will be emailed to you.

To start at the beginning and see the initial invitation/announcement about this, go HERE

Her and I talk frequently about parenting, how to be better moms, how to deal/cope/handle the different personalities of our precious-little-nuggets — SO, of course the piece of paper looked to be something worth taking action on…praying specific Biblical virtues for our children.

Admittedly, I folded the piece of paper in half, tucked it into my Bible and didn’t look at it again…

…UNTIL a week ago.

You see, my same sweet friend that gave me that piece of paper, last week shared with me that she had dusted off her piece of paper and stated to talk with her 3 kids {ages 3-7}, every morning at breakfast, about these virtues.

She told me that some of the virtues they don’t really understand, but others they do — she also shared that she’s seeing fruit as a result of their daily discussions as they are interacting with others they come in contact with.

This encouraged me and fueled me to do something too!

SO…here’s what I’m up to –> Starting March 1st — I will unpack a “virtue” a day…sharing my reflection here, on this website {the 31 days in March}, and discuss the daily virtue with my two little nuggets.

Do you want to JOIN me?

There is…P O W E R…in prayer.

Let’s pray these Biblical virtues, these scriptures, into the lives of our nuggets.  If it’s appropriate and doable, lets create awareness in our children’s lives by talking with them openly about these virtues.

I had my amazingly talented graphic designer Sue create this picture for us to make it easy to follow along…

Whether your children are young or old, whether you’re expecting or hope to be expecting, whether the children in your life are biologically yours, adopted, step, or they are just precious to you — you can join in and pray for them!!

Are YOU IN?

Will YOU journey with me and watch how God shows up as we seek Him and believe in Him for our children?

IF so, let me know by leaving a comment below.  And, if you haven’t already joined the Keeping it Personal Daily KIP e-mail list, go HERE  and sign up — my daily virtue reflection will be emailed to you.

“Each day of our lives we make deposits in the memory banks of our children.” – Chuck Swindoll

For a FREE printable version of this graphic go here
On Pinterest? Follow the board created here — and “pin” this page! =)

* These 31 virtues were written by Bob Hostetler and published by NavPress to learn more about the author go to his website, follow him on twitter, or connect with him on facebook.  They also offer prayer cards to purchase, you can find them here.

Have you ever felt stuck for no reason? Like you couldn’t move forward and you didn’t know why? Maybe you felt stuck with a weight issue, a business issue, a ministry issue, or even an emotional issue.

Recently I was faced with this exact same dilemma — STUCK…

…I was completely perplexed!

I couldn’t see any logical reason why I wasn’t moving forward. I had all the head knowledge I needed to do the task. I had tried every angle, chased every person who said they knew the way, but nothing was quite right and I felt as if I was standing there with cement shoes unable to move forward.

Have you ever been there?

I prayed daily, “Father help me to get through this… help me to figure out how to move forward… to move on to the next step.”  No immediate answers came.

Or I should say, didn’t come until I had tried all my logical options. The answer did come. It just wasn’t one that I was expecting! As a matter fact it blindsided me. It was a message I thought I knew. I thought I had mastered the message actually… I had heard it countless times before…

…it was about forgiveness.

You see, just like you, I have many hurts in my past. Things that have caused me great pain, people who have caused me great pain. But as a Christian woman I knew that forgiveness was important and long ago I had done the work of forgiving them. I had put the issues behind me and moved on. But the other day God called me to a different place; he called me to the next step in forgiveness.

It wasn’t enough to just forgive their debt and put it behind me. I needed to RELEASE them, FORGIVE them, and BLESS them. He began bringing up people and situations in my life that I had long forgotten. People who were both close in my everyday life and people whom I haven’t seen in decades. I visualized them, and told them how they had hurt me. Then I said, “I release you. I forgive you. And I bless you!”

I tell you right now that when I went through these steps with a genuine heart, a new weight was lifted off me that I didn’t know I had. And I was overcome with great compassion for them.

Oh…how freeing are our Father’s ways!

God’s word tells us this:

“Bless those who curse you, and pray for those who mistreat you.” Luke 6:28

All I can tell you is that my steps are clearer now and no longer am I wearing cement shoes. The funny thing is that the people I released and blessed had NOTHING to do with the area of my life I was trying to move forward in. They were completely unrelated. But God knew that it was a weight that I had around my neck that held me back from living my purpose.

Do you feel stuck? Ask God to show you who you need to release. Life is too short and our purpose in life is too important, to live carrying dead weight. Let’s have the courage to take the next step.

Single Mom. It’s a label I never intended to wear. But there it was branded on my chest like the scarlet letter.

Some parents were hesitant to have their children play at my home.

I couldn’t find a class at church I fit into.

It was difficult to find friends my age.

I was Single…and a mom.

Have you ever struggled to fit in? All women wrestle with the issue at some point. The question is what do we do when we find ourselves on the outside looking in?

I did three things during my time as a single mom that allowed me not just to survive but thrive.

1. People – I could not force others into friendship. I concentrated on bettering the relationships in my life. When a friend came along, I fostered the relationship. I became intentional about my time with my kids and made memories out of the ordinary. Most importantly, I tried to be grateful for the relationships I did have instead of bemoaning the ones I didn’t.
2. Physical Fitness – I could not control how others treated me or whether I was included. I tuned into what I could control – how I felt about myself. I lost weight and toned up. I used cardio to work out my feelings and de-stress so I could be the best mom possible.
3. Prayer – I could not control whether others had compassion on me and my situation or had a desire to help. I sought the help I had. I learned to pray about the issues of my day to day life – big and small. Finances, logistics and emotional energy were an issue each day so I used the outlet I had to manage everything. I asked God for His help and intervention. He never let me down.

Eventually my life circumstances changed. I remarried, had two more children and eventually became a pastor’s wife. The three ways I learned to make much of little still enhance my life today.

Are you in a period of struggle? Does your heart long for friendship but a label or circumstance makes forging relationships difficult? A shift of focus to people, fitness and prayer can make tomorrow better today.

Photo Credit:  Frederic Poirot

There was a time in my life when my focus was completely on ministry. I had just come out of college where I was very involved with a group of people who where focused on campus ministry. They were a huge influence on me and taught me that life in Christ was about serving Christ where we were. I miss those days of carefree ministry when I had no one else to think about but Him.

When I graduated I decided to be bold and go into inner city street ministry. I connected with an inner city church and I began walking the toughest neighborhoods striking up conversation with some of the most world–beat-up people you will ever meet. I had some amazing conversations and was able to pray with many who were stuck in a life that was out of control.

Then I got married and had children and life took on a different look. I now had a husband and kids to take care of, and though my longing was still for ministry, daily life was all I thought I could handle at the time.

I began thinking to myself, “ How am I supposed to make being a mom fit into the other parts of who I am?” and I wondered if my life was supposed to just be about my role as a mom. How could I resolve that tension in my life between serving my family and serving others? And even…

…was I supposed to?

The enemy was having a heyday of condemnation in my heart and was hitting me in my two loves, Missions and Motherhood.

That was hard for me for a long time. Can you relate?

Through some tough times and much prayer God began reminding me of my discipleship roots. The ones that taught me that we could serve Christ wholeheartedly where we were. The point is we don’t have to go into fulltime ministry to be an effective ambassador for Christ. God uses Christian teachers, doctors, and business people too.

Somehow I lost that in the midst of being a mom.

It got comfortable to be home with my kids. I became a homebody. I settled in to baking, cleaning, going to women’s bible study, and church on Sunday as the normal. The enemy had effectively lulled me to sleep. I wasn’t using what God had freely given me.

The truth is, You -> Me -> WE have a purpose and neither being a mom nor having a job exempts us from it!

We are all called to the great commission and individually God has called and equipped each one of us uniquely to affect this world for Christ. It’s beyond and above our daily responsibilities.

My questions for you today are:  Where do you feel most called to serve? What holds you back from serving there?

I want to encourage you today to embrace God’s calling on your life and use your gifts to serve Him in this dark world where we need your light so badly.

Photo Credit:  littlegraypixel

I attended a conference a few weeks ago. It was a great conference where they were extremely generous with all the stuff they gave away to the attendees. I left for the conference with a short list of books I need to review. I came home with a stack of books so tall; it may take me all year to read them!

It was overwhelming to think about how I would get all the books read. For a few days, I just stared at the stack of books unable to decide where to start. Then I began to realize something. This is a pattern I need to break free from…

…I get stuck.

If there is too much on my plate or my to-do list is too long, I don’t do anything. I just stand there paralyzed and worried about all there is to do. I have been told to simply “do the next thing” but that doesn’t really help me.

Can you relate?

Sometimes, when given that advice, I hit stage two of my paralysis: the paralysis of analysis. I can’t decide what the next thing is!   So this is where I call in reinforcements. When I get stuck, there are a few things I do to help me get unstuck:

• Ask
• Prioritize
• Pray
• Schedule

Ask for help! This is often where I start. I usually ask for help from my husband. Now, this is not necessarily the “do it with me or for me” kind of help, but rather a step to help me figure out the next thing. I ask my husband because he is great about suggesting a place to start. I have to do this with my kids too. If I say “Go clean your room” nothing gets done, but if I say pick up all your clothes off the floor, then make your bed, it generally gets done.

Prioritize. Sometimes this one is obvious, but other times I have to make a list and figure out which is most important. Ideally all of it would get done and I’d be like superwoman, but it hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes, I enlist help on this one too!

Pray. Pray that you will get it done and that there would be joy in the process. Pray for wisdom in setting those priorities. Pray that God would give you insight as to the best way to do what you need to do.

Set a schedule. This one is the hardest for me. I am not a structured, schedule person, and I am not a list maker. I figure I can always do it tomorrow. This has, however, been one of the best things for me. Two of my scheduled areas of life are Laundry and Housecleaning. If I can focus on one room/area of the house per day, it stays pretty clean and we are all happier. If I do 2 or 3 loads of laundry per day, they actually get folded and put away. It works better than trying to do 15 loads of laundry on Saturday, then feeling overwhelmed all over again.

These are the steps I have to take in order to “do the next thing”

Is it easy for you to just do the next thing or do you get trapped in the paralysis of analysis?

What tools work best for you?

Photo Credit: Walt Stoneburner

His eyes lit up and a smile transformed his face. “Thank you mommy. Thank you.” He wrapped his pudgy arms around my neck and squeezed tight nearly knocking me over.

My heart swelled with joy to see my sweet son so grateful for something so small.

Do you think God’s heart swells when we offer thanks with a truly grateful heart? Or do we treat God more like the guy who held open the door for us at church. A quick polite thank you and then we rush off to get other things done.

My heart is unmoved when my children rattle off a quick, “thanks mom,” before running out the door to play.

Could it be that we are only being polite to God and not truly grateful?

Do we forget how God deserves a sacrifice of praise not just a polite nod?

Have I ever truly offered God a sacrifice of praise or thanks?

Sacrifice means giving up. It means laying down what I want–self-importance, more children, healthy kids, easy relationships–and thanking God for who He is and what He is doing.

Elisabeth Elliot called these opportunities “little deaths,” chances to say no to self and yes to God. Maybe that is what a sacrifice of praise or thanks would mean. Instead of clinging to what we think our life should look like, we lay it down and say thanks to God for what is.

But we don’t say thanks the way a child who got socks for Christmas says it after his mom elbows him. We say thanks from a heart of humble gratitude. One that realizes it is indebted to God beyond what could ever be repaid. A heart that realizes God knows what is best and even in difficult circumstances can offer thanks because God is trustworthy.

Father God, we long to offer You a real sacrifice of praise and thanks. Help us to lay ourselves on the alter that we may be living sacrifices of thanks to You. Give us humble hearts of gratitude that we may enter Your presence with thanksgiving in our hearts. In Jesus’ name, Amen.

It’s Monday and I don’t have a video to share, so I write…

5:00 am comes quickly, but I jump out of bed — there’s no snooze button for me.  This is my favorite hour of the day, my quiet alone time when everyone under our roof is asleep…

…oh the quiet, the silence, the calm.

My time to reflect, my time with God, my time to get my soul food.

I open my devotional, the one that never gets old, the one that continues to challenge me –> The Message//REMIX Solo <– I turn to Day 110, it says:

There are many parts of Proverbs that carry a specific theme.  But other parts of Proverbs deliver wise advice like machine-gun fire into the sky — wise saying about various subjects in no particular order.  Chapter 28 is one of these machine-gun-into-the-sky chapters.  Yet no matter how they’re fired, every bullet is precious.

It goes on to say, select two proverbs that speak to your specific condition this week.  So, from the devotional I open my Life Application Study Bible – I turn to Proverbs chapter 28 and out of the 28 verses in this chapter, I pick two machine-gun-into-the-sky verses that stand out to me…

Whoever conceals their sins does not prosper,
but the one who confesses and renounces them finds mercy.
Proverbs 28:13

My reflection:  When I am willing to face anything head on, to discover the truth, I can embrace love and experience joy.  I {we} are undeserving of grace and mercy, but it is freely given to us by our heavenly father.  However, we must do our part — we must confess AND renounce, give up or put aside voluntarily, abandon and reject our wrongs…our sin.  This takes courage, but there is SO much freedom when we uncover and expose our ickiness.

“Confront the dark parts of yourself, and work to banish them with illumination and forgiveness. Your willingness to wrestle with your demons will cause your angels to sing. Use the pain as fuel, as a reminder of your strength.” – August Wilson

Those who trust in themselves are fools,
but those who walk in wisdom are kept safe.
Proverbs 28:26

My reflection:  Who am I…to think that in my finite being I can rely solely upon on what my eyes see and my ears hear?  I have learned that I must rely upon God to lead me and direct me every day, every step of the way.  I spent most of my life “trusting myself” — it didn’t work out too well for me.  So much heart-ache, so much confusion, so much hurt.  To walk in wisdom is to abide in Him, through reading the Word, through seeking Him first…HIS will, plan, and purpose for my life.  When I do this, I can honestly say, I feel safe.  I DO know the difference but even though I do, I need this reminder — FREQUENTLY!  It’s SO easy for me to revert back to self-reliance.  Surrender is the word I keep top of mind, thy will, NOT my will.

…I pray

This is a little glimpse into my 5:00 am quiet time — it’s Monday, it’s the start of a new week.

How do you start your day?  How do you start your week?  Do you include HIM?

One of my most favorite times of day is during the evening hours- when the dishes are done, house is picked up ,and I have donned my ‘comfy’ pants. (It’s true. Probably not super stylish, but part of my nightly ritual!)

I cuddle in to be with my kids.

I breathe…or maybe it is more a sigh of relief that the day has come and gone, usually without major incident. Almost a sense of accomplishment that we made it through the day. Safely tucked into cozy beds with all the comforts of home.

It is during this time when I learn the most about what is going on with my children. What kind of day they have had, their worries-if any, their accomplishments and what is on their heart.

I lay with each child and talk. And pray. Whisper a blessing…

…and scratch their back.

I know I drag it out; it ends up taking more time than it probably should. But you know what… I treasure this time with them. To connect. And to let them know that they are precious to me, and precious to God. The chaos of the day has come and gone, and I have their undivided attention. Just me and them. And the quiet night time offers.

Unfortunately, on occasion, it isn’t always so picture perfect. When our nights are overloaded with activities, when patience runs thin, or when the dial simply doesn’t get turned down soon enough, meltdowns occur.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to us as parents, in fact, it should be very predictable when the volcano is about to erupt. When our children are about to come undone.

And at times…even us grownups.

I think we can learn a lot from this scenario, and maybe even apply it to our relationship with God. God delights in spending time with us. For us to be quiet enough to hear His still, small voice. I bet he takes great pleasure in hearing about our day. Our accomplishments and anxieties. Our burdens, fears and hopes. In fact, God calls us to be like little children.

Matthew 18:4 “Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.”

So, when you put your head on your pillow tonight, humble yourself like a child, and let God tuck you in for the night. Connect with Him. And let Him remind you how precious you are in His sight. Sleep tight.