Child abuse or should I say the prevention of – is a passion of mine.

Picture this. You are at the grocery store, target, mall- some public place… when a child is acting out. You can see the anxiety of that parent rising. They may lash out at their child who is misbehaving, and maybe even in a way that concerns you. If you have ever been in that situation…

…what was your response?

Was it to stare, or maybe even give the ‘look’?  May I make a suggestion? Any of us who are parents should be able to relate to that situation. How many times have I been standing in line at Target when one of my kids throws a tantrum because I am NOT going to buy them that fancy container of liquid sugar in the check out isle?

They put it there for a reason people!

For parents who decide to give in to their tantruming kids just to get the onlookers off their backs! (I’m guilty!)

Think about what might have helped you in that situation.

A smile? Laughter? Recognition from someone that they have ‘been there‘?

In some circumstances, when you may be really concerned about the escalation of that parent’s behavior, and maybe even concerned for the safety of that child, what. would. you. do?

One recommendation may be to offer a distraction to take that parent out of the heated situation. Kindly interrupt and ask for directions. Compliment them on their clothing, hairstyle, whatever…. ask if they have seen a product. You get the idea. Something completely unrelated to the event, but because you are creating that interruption, it is giving both child and parent time to cool down.

On the other hand, if you are witnessing a violent act against a child, you have the responsibility to alert authorities. Children count on ‘the village‘, and if the village fails them when warning signs are there…

…what is left?

Unfortunately we live in a world where there is stress beyond measure. Many of us are feeling the pressures of our finances. For others it might be health issues, or lack of insurance, or a loved one who is deployed. We all have our triggers. I just ask that you, as a concerned citizen, take the responsibility to be the eyes and ears for our children. It really does take a village.

Anything you do to support kids and parents can help reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect.  Here are some suggestion from preventchildabuse.org article:  What You Can Do: Reach Out PINWHEELS FOR PREVENTION ™ CAMPAIGN

1. Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their children are doing. Draw on your own experiences to provide reassurance and support. If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit or run errands, or just lend a friendly ear. Show you understand.
2. Be a friend to a child you know. Remember their names. Smile when you talk with them. Ask them about their day at school. Send them a card in the mail. Show you care.
3. Talk to your neighbors about looking out for one another’s children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your apartment building or on your block. Show that you are involved.
4. Give your used clothing, furniture and toys for use by another family. This can help relieve the stress of financial burdens that parents sometimes take out on their kids.
5. Volunteer your time and money for programs in your community that support children and families, like parent support groups or day care centers.

“It takes a village to raise a child.” -African Proverb

Flickr Photo Credit

“We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.”
- Amy Grant

Isn’t it something to ponder; as Amy Grant so eloquently sings the lyrics above, that God really does want to hear all about our hurts, our sadness, our deepest darkest thoughts? We are relational beings, and the need to share our lives and connect with our hearts to other hearts is part of our experience as we walk through this life. It’s normal to need to ‘talk’ issues out with those we love and trust. But have you ever had a hurt so deep that your need to ‘process’ and talk through it went beyond the ‘expectation’ of those you trusted to listen? Lets face it, sometimes we can tire each other out. So what then? Where do we turn?

“Come to me all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30

Jesus is where we turn. People my let us down…

…but God never will.

People may tire from our need to ‘talk’, but God will never tire of us. He loves us in a way that goes beyond our human understanding and experience. The truth is, we all grieve and process hurts and losses differently. There may be heart ache in your life that will take years to process and grieve, there is no shame in taking all the time you need to heal. I am not saying we should remain ‘stuck’ and wallow in our sadness. God’s Words to us are many about the thoughts we think and how to heal…

“Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is–his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:2

But when we ‘cast our cares upon Him‘ we have a loving Father who wants, really wants, our ‘truth at the moment‘. The lyrics in Amy Grants song really cut through and help us to see what an amazing and authentic Savior we have; and how He desires an intimate and authentic relationship with us.

………………………………………………………….

God loves a lullaby
In a mothers tears in the dead of night
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.
God loves the drunkards cry,
The soldiers plea not to let him die
Better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah.

The woman holding on for life,
The dying man giving up the fight
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes
The tears of shame for what’s been done,
The silence when the words won’t come
Are better than a Hallelujah sometimes.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah
Better than a church bell ringing,
Better than a choir singing out,singing out.

We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah

Better than a church bell ringing
better than a choir singin’ loud
singin’ loud

……………………………………………..

If you are hurting today, you have a safe place to run. God’s arms are open wide and there is enough room for all of the hidden places in your heart. Pour it all to Him; ‘The beautiful mess we are, the honest cries of breaking hearts are better than a Hallelujah‘ to Him.

Photo Credit: artchick2002

There was a time in my life when my focus was completely on ministry. I had just come out of college where I was very involved with a group of people who where focused on campus ministry. They were a huge influence on me and taught me that life in Christ was about serving Christ where we were. I miss those days of carefree ministry when I had no one else to think about but Him.

When I graduated I decided to be bold and go into inner city street ministry. I connected with an inner city church and I began walking the toughest neighborhoods striking up conversation with some of the most world–beat-up people you will ever meet. I had some amazing conversations and was able to pray with many who were stuck in a life that was out of control.

Then I got married and had children and life took on a different look. I now had a husband and kids to take care of, and though my longing was still for ministry, daily life was all I thought I could handle at the time.

I began thinking to myself, “ How am I supposed to make being a mom fit into the other parts of who I am?” and I wondered if my life was supposed to just be about my role as a mom. How could I resolve that tension in my life between serving my family and serving others? And even…

…was I supposed to?

The enemy was having a heyday of condemnation in my heart and was hitting me in my two loves, Missions and Motherhood.

That was hard for me for a long time. Can you relate?

Through some tough times and much prayer God began reminding me of my discipleship roots. The ones that taught me that we could serve Christ wholeheartedly where we were. The point is we don’t have to go into fulltime ministry to be an effective ambassador for Christ. God uses Christian teachers, doctors, and business people too.

Somehow I lost that in the midst of being a mom.

It got comfortable to be home with my kids. I became a homebody. I settled in to baking, cleaning, going to women’s bible study, and church on Sunday as the normal. The enemy had effectively lulled me to sleep. I wasn’t using what God had freely given me.

The truth is, You -> Me -> WE have a purpose and neither being a mom nor having a job exempts us from it!

We are all called to the great commission and individually God has called and equipped each one of us uniquely to affect this world for Christ. It’s beyond and above our daily responsibilities.

My questions for you today are:  Where do you feel most called to serve? What holds you back from serving there?

I want to encourage you today to embrace God’s calling on your life and use your gifts to serve Him in this dark world where we need your light so badly.

Photo Credit:  littlegraypixel

 This quote reminds me to give up!

…give up being the perfect mother!

I’ll have you know that as I sit here at the computer, there are 3 loads of laundry waiting to be folded, dinner to make, a kid to pick up from school, a dog to potty-train. And a house to tidy.

Actually that’s not true.

I don’t even aim to clean the house every day {how depressing would it be to set goals that I have no intention of doing?}

But you know what I DID do?

• I wrote a note on my kids’ lunch napkins.
• I held hands with my youngest.
• I kissed my husband.

…and if dinner is “breakfast for supper” tonight, who cares?

Today has been a good day.

You and I may not {may not? ha!} be perfect mothers…

…but we can absolutely be good ones! 

“There is no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.” — Jill Churchill
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Today’s Quote is shared by:  Cathy Tibbles.  She is the owner of Desperately Seeking WordPress, finding it herself in 2007, placenta-brain still raging. A few years later and with all 3 of her girls in school, she has fostered the small website into the fun-loving business of “Your friendly Geeks”. She dreams of her puppy peeing outside and publishing that elusive book.  You can find her on Twitter and Facebook too.

You know what bugs me? Perfect moms. Perfect moms with perfect kids, in their perfect homes, and perfect husbands who dote on their perfect little family. They are always put together, dressed to the nines, with their hair perfectly colored and nails manicured. Their houses are spotless, and they somehow seem to flow through life effortlessly.

So there. I said it!

There are times when I am in a pity party mode, and everyone around me appears to have it, what ever ‘it’ is, all together.

Do you know this type?

Unfortunately, I’m surrounded by people who appear to me like they have it all!  Cute, sassy, full of energy, always on top of the latest style and fashion, without so much as a weed in their front yard.

And then there’s imperfect me.

Always running late to events, making a quick pass through cleaning the toothpaste off my kids’ faces before they run out the door in the morning, forgetting in the process to look at my own face. My floor cluttered with baby dolls and clothes, toys, art projects and the remainder of the card game from the day before. A dried out container of now dead flowers in front of my garage and my dog running out of the front door with a pair of underwear in his mouth (swear to God that happened).

Did I really just admit to all of that???

It probably isn’t really that bad, nor am I as scattered as I am making it sound. (I hope.) But, you get the idea. There is always someone else to compare yourself to- who has it better- or so it seems.

When I get in these pity party modes, I remind myself what matters most…the condition of my heart.

When you wipe away all the clutter (whatever that might be- as we all have our ‘clutter’)  it is what’s left that counts the most. All the external appearance crap we spend so much time maintaining is just that…crap, if we don’t take the time to manicure our heart, and the hearts of our family.

Proverbs 27:19 As water reflects a face, so a man’s heart reflects the man.

A couple of months ago, I overheard my boys talking.  Zane said to Zach, “Zach, would that put a smile on His face?”  I can’t remember now exactly what they were doing or talking about, but I tuned in and thought to myself, this is interesting, WHO is Zane talking about?  Then I heard Zach respond, “Probably not.”  I couldn’t help to ask, “Zane, would it put a smile on who’s face?”  He said, “God’s face, mom.”  I took a step back and thought, ok – you’re 7 – I’ve never said that before, where did you learn that?  I asked them.  They said at the same time “school”.  YES!!  They are learning at school – YIPEE!!

This is the first year that our boys have gone to a private Christian school – each day they start their day with a short chapel service.  They sing songs – put on the full armor of God – receive a biblical lesson through other classmates or a teacher – pray and then start their day.  I LOVE it!!  I frequently go to chapel with them on Thursday mornings and each time I leave there I feel overwhelmed with God’s blessings.

Does it put a smile on God’s face?  I love that question.  After I overheard my boys talking about it – I decided, hey, that is for ME!  That question is one I need to ask myself frequently in EVERY area of my life.  So, that’s what I’ve started doing.  I know it sounds silly and very elementary, but I’m doing it!!

By asking myself this question, I’m seeing things differently.  I’m thinking before I speak.  My thoughts are more pure.  The actions that I take have meaning – my desire is to put a smile on God’s face!!

I was amazed by the response I got from a friend the other day when I actually spoke this to her through a text message, I know it sounds strange, speaking through a text, but let me share with you what happened.  I received a text from a friend basically inviting me into gossip.  Her text went something like this……..i ran in2 “jane” she said that “jan” had become a stuck up snot, blah, blah, blah………….My response was this………..what ive heard or any thoughts that I have regarding “jan” would not put a smile on God’s face so I will refrain from that conversation ……..then I changed the subject in the remainder of my text.  The next day when we actually spoke on the phone, she told me that she respected my response and it made her actually think about what she was thinking or saying.

I’m NOT telling this story to pat myself on the back, or put myself on a pedestal ~ BELIEVE ME I know that I screw up all the time and have a lot to work on in my life.  I simply wanted to share the concept.  Who in this life are we aiming to please?  Are we putting a smile on God’s face?  Consider asking the question………

These feelings got me thinking about this role of being a mom. I began comparing my own parenting to that of MY mother, and how it differs.  I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up in the family I did, and to have the parents I do. Consistency, calm, Christian influence. My dad walked in the door at 5:10 or so every night. Home made meals on the table at 5:30 every night. A home made sweet treat after dinner every night. The house was always picked up, laundry always done. Life was predictable. I had 2 sisters, both older than I, and we all respected my parents. I know I am the youngest, so my memory may be a little different than that of my sisters, but I don’t remember my parents ever having to yell to get our attention. For me, it was more of a fear of disappointing them that made me want to do good. (Not sayin’ that I didn’t do my fair share of stupid things growing up!)  I don’t ever remember sensing anger or impatience between my parents. Life was simple. Or at least that is how I remember it.

Fast forward several decades (gulp)and here I am, blessed to be raising my own children. Boy, I am afraid to say the the environment in which I remember growing up is very different than the environment my children are being raised. To start, I work. I have the privilege of working part time and feel very blessed for that opportunity, but…. I work. I feel like if I’m not on call, I’m going into the clinic, or thinking about an outstanding subpoena, or a child that touched my heart in a profound way. It is always there. How much does that take away from my ability to be a good mom? Are there ways that makes me a better mom?

I think another big difference is our children’s schedules. I grew up on a farm in a rural town in MN. I have to say there weren’t too many opportunities for extracurricular events until the junior high years. It wasn’t until then, that we would begin or choose a sport- and there were only a few to choose from. Practices were predictable, after school, and we would always be home by dinner-time.

My son Owen decided to play hockey this year.  I’ve been told that 6 years old is a year or two late to begin skating. Really? Along with this commitment are 1 to 2 practices a week, and 1 game per week. Not really all that bad. Then you factor in our 4 year old daughter Gracie and her 1 practice a week for gymnastics. Add the weekly church, school, typical play dates, and preschool car pools… it all adds up. And with that, takes away time from home where I could be cooking, cleaning or creating consistency and calm. On the other hand, it provides exposure to a team sport, helps build confidence and cooperation among team members and provides excellent physical activity.

So what gives? I know that schedules will only get busier. I mentioned I have 2 older siblings with older children, so know what is ahead for us. I just struggle at the difference in how I was raised. I can’t expect life to be the same for my children as it was for me 38 years ago. It is a different time, and we live in a different demographic.  I may not have the opportunity to have dinner on the table every night at 5:30. BUT there are things I can and DO do.

Creating memories with our children. Having popcorn parties on our family room floor. Watching movies. Playing board games. Creating family traditions. Being silly.

I can still provide consistency, but in a different way. Consistency in parenting, in providing a safe haven,  in creating predictability.

Calm, yet different than what I knew. Calm in my responses to various situations. Calm created by preparing for the day, for the unexpected. Calm in my marriage. These things are all a work in progress.

Christian influence- I pray I provide this by being an example in my daily walk.  By being in the Word. By making church a priority. By praying as a family. By reading devotions with our children. By living our lives as an example. I think THAT is the biggest challenge of all. Thank you to my husband who continues to hold me accountable in these areas as they too, are a work in progress. I love you!

So, for me, being a mom is a title I’m honored to have been given. My job is to help mold 2 tiny persons into a godly man and woman with the help of a lot of other wonderful people, most importantly their father. I just pray each and every day that I am equipped with the skills needed to do my very best at this incredibly important job. I can’t expect things to be the same as when I grew up. In fact, there are many positive things my children have been afforded that back in the day, were not available. I need to stop comparing, and appreciate each day for what it is. Finally, I pray for peace and balance in my heart when juggling my various roles becomes a struggle.

We’re keeping it personal – we’re about the relationship, sharing what’s real on a personal level. We’re taking the “impersonal” out of what society has made impersonal to speed up the process, to get going with the next thing. We want to inspire you to keep it personal in your daily interactions. Inspire you to look for the moments where you can impact the lives of others around you by sharing your experiences and your story. By freely giving compliments and encouraging words to others. We want to motivate you to reach out to others by keeping it personal, by using your special gifts and talents; by being real, honest, kind, genuine. We want to educate you and provide you with ideas that will impact your life, which in turn, you can share to impact the lives of others.

Keeping it personal is what customer service lacks. Keeping it Personal is what can turn an acquaintance into a life long friend. Keeping it Personal is what can give someone hope who is hopeless- because you were transparent and shared a story they could relate to. Keeping it Personal and sharing your passion could be the start of an organization to help a family in need or a homeless/runaway on the street. Keeping it Personal is dropping that personal handwritten card in the mail. Taking action with those lingering thoughts; NOT ignoring them. Keeping it Personal is taking the time to make a phone call to the person who’s been on your mind. The personal touch may be just what one person needs on a particular day to bring joy to their world.

Our mission is to be a daily reminder for people to keep it real by keeping it personal. Through sharing our experiences and our stories online, we hope to inspire you to keep it personal as you connect with your community and others around you.

Who are WE? We are simply two women, two mothers, two daughters, two friends, two aunties, two sisters-in-law, two wives, two children of God who have come to realize through our own past experiences on this journey of life, that keeping it personal is what keeps us grounded. We have not mastered this by any means or claim to be perfect, but are striving to keep it personal in all our affairs. We find joy and fulfillment by reaching out and sharing with others; and in return we grow and are inspired by what others share with us in their stories and experiences. Our hope is for others to find what we’ve come to realize.

Keeping it personal is a community of twos. We hope to attract and influence a community at large who share our vision of keeping it personal.

Teri and Leah