Daily KIP:  Love one another.  “The more one judges, the less one loves.”  ~Honore de Balzac

A few words to describe my dad:

Noble. Genuine. Respected. Respectful. Patient. Kind. Forgiving. Generous. Gentle. Comforter. Even tempered. Fair. Considerate. Worthy. Successful. Smart. Witty. Counselor. Wise. Full of grace and mercy.

I am blessed to have an amazing father who could not have been a better example for me growing up, and continues to this day to be a man of Godly character.  I now have a husband who is a father to my own children, and admire the strong character he brings to our family and models for our children.

A father, daddy, dad, papa… have an enormous impact on their children for generations to come. But what about those children who are now growing up without a daddy? What about children who have fathers who cause pain instead of comfort, hurt through words, or even their own hand. Even those of us who have wonderful fathers will likely be disappointed by them at some time. They may not live up to our expectations, or accidentally let us down. They are in fact, human. There is only one father who will never leave you nor forsake you. Who will ALWAYS have your back. ALWAYS. This, of course, is our Heavenly Father.

I have been going through a recent ‘ah ha’ moment and realized this is one of the most important lessons we can teach our children. As important as our earthly fathers are, even more important is our relationship with our Heavenly Father. There isn’t anyone who is a better provider, counselor, disciplinarian, leader, comforter, teacher, healer… If we can fully understand the love our Heavenly Father has for his children (us), we can live more fully, with purpose and security.

James L. Christensen wrote, “The purpose of Christianity is not to avoid difficulty, but to produce a character adequate to meet it when it comes.  It does not make life easy; rather it tries to make us great enough for life.” I am not a father, but as a parent, I am certain of one thing. If we can teach our children about God’s character, to help create in them a desire to develop God-like character, we have accomplished much.

I challenge you this Father’s Day to recognize your father, whether it be a biological father or other. Let them know what kind of impact he has had in your life. And maybe, if you feel like it, share with a child (or grown up child) how much their Heavenly Father loves them.

Dad, I love you. I thank you for being the Godly man you are. I am so blessed.

Doug, thank you for being such an amazing father to our children. I love you!

Happy Father’s Day!

Daily KIP:  Pay extra attention to others around you who are “showing love” and when you see it, make the effort to let them know that what you saw them say or do was loving.  ”Love never gives up. Love cares more for others than for self. Love doesn’t want what it doesn’t have. Love doesn’t strut, doesn’t have a swelled head, doesn’t force itself on others, isn’t always “me first,” doesn’t fly off the handle, doesn’t keep score of the sins of others, doesn’t revel when others grovel, takes pleasure in the flowering of truth, puts up with anything, trusts God always, always looks for the best, never looks back, but keeps going to the end.” 1 Cor. 13:4-7 Msg.

Daily KIP: Do you ever NOT know how to pray? OR feel your prayers are “hitting the ceiling”? Consider making this your simple prayer: “Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort, than to be comforted. To understand, than to be understood. To love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. Amen.” (taken from Saint Francis of Assisi)

I dropped my son off today after school at his dad’s house, so he could go to his hockey game.  As he walked in front of my truck I rolled down my window and spoke loudly, “Good Luck tonight buddy, call me when your game ends and let know how the game went, I love you!”  He smiled at me and replied, “OK mom, bye!” and with his hand he gave me a thumbs up.

A couple of years ago I was extremely sad that my son could never say the sweet words that I so longed to hear from his mouth, “I love you Mom.”  He was 7 years old when my mind started to race about this.  I had never had the opportunity to hear him utter the word LOVE.  His brother on the other hand is polar opposite, he absolutely LOVES everything and everybody – he’s my little Peace and Love child!   He loves to hug, snuggle, kiss, and love.  He definitely makes up for his brother in this area.

Forcing the words out of Zach didn’t work.  He would always tell me, “Mom, I can’t say that word.”  Understand something, when he says that he can’t say that word, he literally means it.  Let me share with you an example.  I sing to my boys quite often.  The one song that I sing frequently is, You are my Sunshine.  I’m sure you’ve heard it…….

I ask the boys to sing the song with me sometimes, you know, one big happy family (I know I’m a dork!!)  Oh well, I’m silly with my boys and it keeps us FUN!  So anyway, I ask them to sing and when we get to the line……….how much I love you……… Zach omits the word, he SKIPS over it.  He does this all the time – when he’s reading, singing Jesus Loves Me, etc.

I found myself asking Zach, “Honey, do you love me?”  He would always shake his head and say YES!  I know I’m sounding pathetic – I have to admit, I was insecure.  I couldn’t figure it out – it REALLY bothered me!  My expectations were not being met.  I was having a hard time accepting it and because he didn’t express himself like my other son Zane or how I saw other kids express themselves, I took it personal.  I thought….What in the world is wrong with me?  Did I do something wrong parenting him?  Hadn’t I raised both boys the same way;  to show love “properly”?

“Properly” I discovered was the lie that I was choosing to believe which had caused me the insecurity and unmet expectation.  Who am I to judge how someone else expresses love to another person.  In my desperate attempts to “make” him “tell” me he loved me, the way I expected him to, I was over looking how he was showing me love – the way he was capable of showing it.

I realized that Zachary shows love by being a helper.  He shows love by talking and visiting with me.  He shows love by wanting me to sit close to him on the couch and watch a movie.  He shows love by inviting me to go on bike rides, play hockey with him, shoot baskets, or by playing catch.  When Zach and I spend time together, he is telling me he loves me.

Through this process I have learned to open my mind and to be more accepting of others in all aspects of my life.  Just because others don’t do things the way I would necessarily do them doesn’t mean it is not done properly.  I am learning to become more tolerant, understanding, and patient.  I found that this doesn’t always come easy and natural for me – but I’m a work in progress.

As I worked through this insecurity I had with Zachary, we communicated and decided that it’s important to let those we love know that we love them.  We established a secret code – I guess you could call it sign language.  It’s a “thumbs up” and to us, it means “I love you.”

Daily KIP: Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love. ~Agreement 1 don miguel ruiz

Daily KIP: Love the unlovable. Instead of making judgements on another person’s life, or exposing their faults to others (gossip!) choose to come beside them and see them for the beautiful man/woman they are. NONE of us are perfect. “Pride goes before a fall, and humility precedes honor.” Susie Larson