L O V E <— how are you doing with this in your life…loving?

Each week in February I’m going to talk about…L O V E.  I know it’s a little “cliche”  to be talking about this in the month of February, but stick with me as I unpack the most commonly sited scripture verse in weddings…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

This week I challenge you to think about verse 4: Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

Are you patient?  Are you kind?  Are you envious? boastful? proud?

Looking in the mirror I know there is work that needs to be done in my life…

Patience?  This “fruit-of-the-spirit” –long-suffering– isn’t always present.

Kind?  There are times I say things to people I “love” that are NOT kind.  Most often it’s my words that are not kind {sometimes, the look on my face, or rolling my eyes can reveal this too!}

Envious?  This is one area of my life, thankfully, that I’m genuinely doing good at.  I am authentically happy and excited for others.  I rejoice with others in their successes and want the best for all.

Proud?  I bring this one to God in prayer often.  My desire is it to be humble, but I am aware that pride can sneak in when we least expect it.  I know that I. am. nothing. without God and everything with Him and because. of. Him.

That’s my honest look in the mirror as I reflect upon what L O V E is…

What does this look like in YOUR life?

Photo Credit:   Freeman Mester

I have written this beginning no less than 7 times.

The words have weighed on my heart and rattled around in my brain, but for some reason, they just don’t want to sit on this screen and communicate my heart.

You see, I’m a perfectionist. At least, that’s what I always thought.

‘Perfectionism’ has been my excuse. It became my scapegoat long ago, giving me a defense, a pardon, for my scrutiny and toiling, my procrastination and avoidance. When I lacked inspiration and just. couldn’t. get. it. right, perfectionism wore the blame.

…if I couldn’t do it well, I didn’t do it at all.

After all, shouldn’t a perfectionist deliver stunning results? Have something to show for all of that time spent planning, preparing, practicing, producing? In that wastebasket full of wadded up efforts, shouldn’t there be at least one bestseller, a master-piece of me?

It’s not that I’ve wanted to be perfect — I’ve always known that what I do … who I am … is far from perfect. It hasn’t even been about being the best.

I think what I have finally come to realize, is that perfectionism, at least for me, is far more about significance and meaning. I want to do something that matters.

Something that matters!

I want my life, my efforts, all of me to count for something.

Do you ever feel that way?

Friend, you do matter. In fact, you matter far more than you think. Not only are you a daughter of the King, God has gifted you and called you. He has put desires and dreams in your heart. For most of us, we have let distractions, busyness, good intentions, and worries mute the cry of our hearts and bury those God-given dreams. But they are there. Find them. Ask Him to open your eyes and soften your heart, that you might know His calling for you.

And as those dreams come alive again, trust Him. Follow Him. Obey His calling.

Maybe it’s true…

…maybe perfectionism is part of my nature, maybe it’s part of yours.

But either way, that label, that excuse, can no longer bear the blame. For it’s not perfectionism that stops us, that holds us back. It’s fear. Far too often, fear is the dictator of our lives.

And that’s not how we were called to live. He came,“to enable us to serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days!” (Luke 1:74)

“Through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set [us] free! … [We] did not receive a spirit that makes [us] slave[s] to fear!” — Romans 8:2, 15

May we walk in that freedom, abiding in Christ Jesus’, perfect Love who drives out all fear! (1 John 4:18)

Have you ever let fear hold you back from pursuing God’s call on your life?

Photo Credit:  Dawn Camp

…Favorite Quote Friday

Each Friday we will hear from a variety of people — sharing a “favorite quote” and why-it’s-a-favorite!  If YOU have one you’d like to share send a message here.

I love love love this simple quote, here are my thoughts:

It’s just me.  little me.

I rest…

…my desire is to rest, sometimes I fall short trying too do it on my own.

I rest in the hand of a writing God.

Who’s doing the writing?  God.

HE is sending a love letter to the world.

The “love letter” is the message that He put on my heart.  I share my experience. strength. hope.

I AM…only because of Him.

…God IS Love

to the world?  For me, it’s my personal world — those I have the opportunity to connect with each day.  This could be one or this could be many.

…I am willing to be a little pencil writing for Him.

We all have an opportunity to participate in sending God’s love letter to the world.

“I am a little pencil in the hand of a writing God who is sending a love letter to the world.” – Mother Teresa

“One generation shall praise Thy works to another, and shall declare Thy mighty acts. On the glorious splendor of Thy majesty, and on Thy wonderful works, I will meditate. And men shall speak of the power of Thine awesome acts; And I will tell of Thy greatness. They shall eagerly utter the memory of Thine abundant goodness, and shall shout joyfully of Thy righteousness. “ Psalm 145: 4-7

I love a good story.

Yet, more than just a good story, I love to hear about the intervention of a Holy God in the ordinary lives of men. So many times we put God in the clouds. We make him a lofty being that controls things like the universe, the weather, and the large events of life. However, we fail to realize that…

…God is in our everyday details.

God does not hear about our daily happenings secondhand. He sustains our very breath and goes before us. Life can be exhilarating and disappointing. As a child, I gave my heart to the Lord. As an adult, the many aspects of His character have jumped off the pages of scripture and become personal to me.

He became my Healer, when He healed me of Congestive Heart Failure and a difficult pregnancy.

He became my Deliverer when He set me free from a lifetime of irrational fear.

He was my Friend, when no one else understood the chronic health issues I faced each day.

He is my Counselor, my Redeemer, my Strength, and He is all of these things each and every day.

I hope that in this very moment you will understand, without a shadow of a doubt, that God wants a relationship with you.

He wants to sit with you in the morning over a cup of coffee, as well as fight for you in the darkness. May 2012 be the year that you see God as your everyday God…

…your friend day in and day out.

(If you received this post via email, be sure to click here to watch the video.)

Why?

What is the inspiration behind what you do…in all. areas. of. your. life?

Do you know?

Some set goals for the new year, some wrote resolutions, some chose a One Word {that’s what I do} others simply reflect and/or don’t about the new year — whatever you chose to do, the question I’m asking is what is the why behind how you …

“live” — “work” — “parent” — “relationship“

…do you know?

As I was looking ahead to the new year, I started to ask myself that question.  I peeled back the layers and identified that part of my why is to simply…

Be A Light.

My desire is to be a light into the world in which I have the opportunity to live.  In the lives of my children, my marriage, in relationships both personally and professionally, to strangers.

Taking that a step further, as I journey to discover truth, embrace love, and experience joy in my personal life — I see that’s the deeper part of my why.

I am passionate about inspiring others to find what inspires them by discovering their own truth, to fall in love with who they are, and to discover joy in their life.  Professionally I do this with my clients through life-coaching, The Ultimate Journey course, speaking, the book I wrote, and The Refine Conference.

Clearly defining my why — and wrapping my arms around it has been exciting and fuels me to press on!

So, friends, I ask YOU — what is it for you?

What is your why?

If you know, I would LOVE for you to share it with me.  If you don’t, I challenge you to explore and discover what it is.

Then…for 2012 — lets lead with our why…may it be the inspiration behind all that we do and how we live.

Photo Credit: Amy Alldis

Recently my husband and I got the gift of a lifetime…

…ONE whole weekend without our kids.

For some of you that may not sound like much, but for us, it was a miracle. We have no family who live close in our area, so these types of weekends are few and far between.

As a matter of fact, my youngest, who is 3, had never spent one night away from us until that weekend. We also realized that it had been nearly 5 years since we’ve been alone for even an evening. It was about time don’t you think?

We were able to just have quietness in our house, an uninterrupted meal, and {my favorite} an uninterrupted thought!

We got a glimpse of who we were before we had children. Remembering what it was like to be alone with each other. And do you know what I discovered? I discovered a boyfriend!

You know what I mean, the person who would go into a shop with you just to look, and act interested in the gadgets you look at just because YOU are interested in them. I also discovered myself as a girlfriend again. Not just mom, or businesswoman, or wife, but…

…a girl in love with a boy.

Our everyday reality is bombarded by the immediate, the necessary, and the urgent so much that we rarely get to have these moments to just be together, take a walk, or slowly browse a store.

How easy it could be to allow that to taint who we believe we are married to. How easy it would be for my husband to believe that he is just married to the overworked, sleep deprived mom.  Rather than…

…the girl still in love with the boy.

It is a season in our life for us right now, but that’s just it… it’s only a season. I promised to stand by this man forever, and I choose to do so even when I find it hard to see the boyfriend in the midst of the busyness, and chaos.

How easy it would be for the enemy of our soul to come between us and convince us to look for that carefree relationship we once enjoyed in another person. Or even to blame the other for not being who we think they should be.

God didn’t put us together so that we could forever enjoy a carefree, fully satisfied relationship. That is reserved for our relationship with Christ alone. Relationships are a hard, refining process that we are smart to be trained by.

The enemy of our soul would like nothing more than to destroy our marriages and convince us we are missing something that we deserve. And he is right!  The truth really is that we are meant for another relationship that is to satisfy our soul.

But that has nothing to do with another person. We are meant to seek Christ. We are meant to long for that satisfaction that can only come from God. He is the only one who can fully satisfy. He is the only one who will fully complete us. And I’ll be honest; I can’t wait for that day.

How about you?

Photo Credit: BestPix Photography

The holidays should bring us joy and reunions with friends and family. We should be able to approach them with expectation and anticipation.

But some years we can’t.

Some years, too much has changed from the way it was to fully embrace where we are.

We have been blessed this year and we are looking forward to our holiday celebrations, but we have also had the privilege and challenge of walking with some of our friends as they travel a road marked with sorrow this season. It is not easy for those who walk through trials or those who walk with them.

I want to offer hope and encouragement to you this Christmas season. Whether you are grieving losses anew or dreading the tension at a family gathering, remember the reason we celebrate and let it bring you hope and healing.

Jesus came to Earth in humility and love, to show us how to live in that same way. So when we face situations and people that do not live in such a way, we can still choose the way of grace and humility.

He wishes for us to live an abundant and full life.

He knows our sorrows and the things that threaten to steal our joy and rob us of our abundance. In Isaiah 53, it says, He was despised and rejected—a man of sorrows, acquainted with deepest grief… Yet it was our weaknesses he carried; it was our sorrows that weighed him down. He already knows and understands exactly where you are.

He has already carried your burdens for you…

…will you let him do it again?

It is not easy to walk a road filled with sorrow and tension, but it is only for a short while. For those who are now in sorrow, joy will come again.

And now, GOD, do it again— bring rains to our drought-stricken lives So those who planted their crops in despair will shout hurrahs at the harvest, So those who went off with heavy hearts will come home laughing, with armloads of blessing. Psalm 126:4-6 (MSG)

God will restore your joy and bring you healing if you let him.

He is willing, are you?

Sometimes it feels easier, at least momentarily to stay in the pain – it becomes a familiar place, but God desires more for you, and not just during the holidays, but all year.

The holidays do sometimes bring forth the reminders of what once was and what will never be. Allow yourself to remember and to feel. Be there for those whose pain is fresh.

Live joyfully and look for those armloads of blessing, even if they seem small at first, soon there will be too many to count.

Photo Credit: Morna Crites-Moore

“Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.” Wess Stafford

From YouTube footage of a teen being whipped with a belt for ‘discipline’ — to famous coaches sexually molesting numerous children over a number of years, the reality of child abuse has reared its ugly head over the last several weeks.

I have taken a special interest in these stories because abuse is my formal line-of-work.  I see children just like the above mentioned.  I interview and examine them.  I collect evidence when able…

…I see their anguish, their shame.

I talk to their non-offending parents who are brought to their knees in devastation.

Horrified. Heart broken. Innocence lost.

They are victims. Victims of others’ sinful, destructive and hurtful actions. But, the abuse they have endured doesn’t define who they are. It is our job, each and every one of us, to let these children know how very special they are. How God created each of them and He has a plan for them.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

We may not know them personally, but we can pray for them, for their families, and for their recovery. My prayer would sound something like this song, Beautiful by Mercy Me…

Days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much
And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves enough to die
You’re beautiful
In His eyes
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

“Safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.” – Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa

My hope is that these horrendous stories of sexual and physical abuse create a public awareness. That instead of turning a blind eye, we might have the courage to speak up and say something when faced with an opportunity to ally a child.

My question for you –> What role can YOU play?

We went to the beach in October. Fishing is really good then. *BIG smile* Jim went to the pier to investigate what kind of fish were biting and the bait that was working.

Pompano were running and the bait of choice is a sand flea. Florida pompano are said to bring the highest price per pound of any fish in the United States.  This is important information if you are to understand the intensity to which we “hunted so we could fish” when Jim returned from the pier.

Hope is a powerful affection. Hope is inescapable.

If I’m sick, I hope to get well.

If I’m hungry, I hope for food.

In a natural disaster, I hope for restoration for the suffering people and their families.

Mankind is never without an intense hope for something.

Hope makes our life rich and without it we die.

But, have you ever thought about how ‘complete hope‘ is never totally satisfied?  Hope is a desire that cannot be so satisfied as to leave one never wanting it again.

When I’m tired, I want rest. I rest, work again and I’m tired again, hoping for rest.

When I have a project to work on, I enjoy it and hope for its completion only to hope for a new project afterwards.

Hope is good, but never completely fulfilled. In the Garden, Adam and Eve were brought into perfect union with the Father, Son and Spirit. Adam and Eve experienced perfectly fulfilled hope in their life with the Trinity. They did not thirst for anything. That changed when they ate the forbidden fruit. Sin entered and gave birth to an unquenchable thirst for life where hope is fulfilled. Thankfully God was not taken by surprise when they sinned.

The never ending cycle of unfulfilled hope.
All my life I’ve heard that Jesus is my hope and I thought about it regarding salvation and for sure he is my only hope for salvation but what are the details of that salvation and his sacrifice? Think about the never ending cycle of unfulfilled hope in your life, add every human being who has ever lived or ever will live and add their hopelessness to it and put it all together in one big pile. That is what Jesus experienced on the cross for you and me. He took upon himself the eternal greediness of hope deferred that rested upon sinful man. One day of hopelessness buries me. I can’t imagine the suffering he endured for my sake, so I can have hope, real life, in the Trinity. I’ve always thought of the cross in light of my sinful state being placed upon Jesus. One of the particulars of his sacrifice is that he took upon himself my unquenchable hope for life and made it possible for me to have life in him now and for all eternity.

What are your greatest longings?
Think about your greatest longing, the things you hope for most in the world and imagine for a moment the depth of the pain or joy you want satisfied. Now imagine that you feel that for eternity; the desire constantly and the experience of not having it continuously. Jesus took this upon himself for our sake.

My heart wells up with compassion for Jesus when I look at his sacrifice from this angle, but HIStory doesn’t end with the sacrifice. He was resurrected from the dead. A crescendo in music is a gradual increase in loudness, or the moment when a noise or piece of music is at its loudest, an increase in excitement, danger or action. The resurrection is the nanosecond right after the crescendo. As if all creation took a deep breath wondering, hoping, dreading until……..

…he resurrected. Then there was one gigantic, prolonged, and lingering sigh of satisfaction like the ending of a symphony well played. He purchased fulfilled hope for us and his resurrection proves the arrangement was sealed. Feasting upon him, his beauty, his glory, and his sacrifice can satisfy this intense desire, my longing for the Garden and one day it will be realized when I am face to face with him.

Do you hope for a particular house?

He’s building you a mansion.

Do you hope for a gorgeous vacation?

He bought you the most fantastic rest imaginable.

Do you hope for a better income?

All the riches of heaven belong to those who are in Christ Jesus.

What do you hope for?

Have you thought of hope in this way?

How does this change your love for Jesus?

How does it change the way you live?

Living Outside the Lines…

…offers thanksgiving to the One who bore eternal hopelessness…

…in order to give us life

Photo Credit:  Expedition: Blue Planet

Photo Credit: Abigail Polley

I was coloring with my triplets one morning when my little girl emphatically shouted, “Mom, you cannot color outside the lines!” My heart sank, and it wasn’t because I had messed up. It was because my beautiful, little artist had her mom’s bent towards perfectionism. A large part of me wanted to grab the nearest crayon, and scribble like no mama has ever scribbled before! Although that drive to “color inside the lines” can serve us well at times, it often becomes an obstacle to enjoying God’s grace and love.

Little Miss Perfect.
Ephesians 2:8 says, “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God.” If you struggle with perfectionism, it might be hard to let that truth sink in.

My head says, “Grace is free”, but my actions often say, “As long as I stay in the lines, then God will do X. If I do not, boy do I have it coming!”

It’s a pattern of thinking that I have to put at Jesus’ feet every single day.

When we don’t give ourselves any grace, our relationship with Jesus can become like a rigid tight rope. Before we know it, chronic fear of falling and ultimately…failing rules us and steals our joy. One’s ability to enjoy the freedom that Christ purchased at the cross suddenly becomes a hard to reach concept, instead of a heartfelt reality.

Why Perfectionism is Not Biblical.
Jesus died for sinners. Now take a deep breath and relax; the cat is out of the bag. God knows that you are a sinner in need of a Savior. Christ died for people just like you and I.

Does God want us to live in His will?  Certainly.

Does he want us to only feel secure in His love when we feel like we are doing everything perfectly? Absolutely not!

When we press into the Lord, and get to know His character, we find that God is love. This past year, God has really been working on my thought life. He’s shown me how many times I actually try to do His job; how I set up rules, guidelines, and rituals that keep those strongholds of perfectionism in tact.

Freedom from the big P.
One time I was attending a woman’s Bible study and confessed my struggle with perfectionism. I said, “I think I struggle with perfectionism” and a woman in the back laughed out loud and said “Ya think!”

I was caught red handed!

I actually believed deep down that my bent towards perfectionism was a hidden struggle. Perfectionism has a way of making it’s way to the surface and infiltrating our life and the people around us. Yet, God desires to set the captive free, even from perfectionism.

Do you find that contentment eludes you in your daily life?

Do you feel that joy is an emotion only reserved for eternity?

I know how it feels to live your life on the merit system. This might work in girl scouts, but in life, all we need is Jesus to set us free from the “little Miss Perfect” in us all.  So, grab the nearest crayon, relax, and scribble with the best of them.