What is a dry well? Simply put its a well that is dry, one that doesn’t produce any water. A dry well would be one that no one returns to to quench their thirst and in most cases it would be capped of, abandoned and forgotten. BUT they are most often always still there.
Getting water from a well is NOT an easy task, it a takes a lot of work. I’m not talking about the modern day technology that’s used by cities which connect wells to the city water system that we get to our faucets, not that kind of well. I’m talking about the old wells. You know, the one where the bucket is hanging there – you have to manually turn the crank down to the bottom, scoop up the water in the bucket and then crank the bucket up…….that’s the kind of well that I have in my mind. That’s A LOT of work to get one bucket of water!!
IF you were to make the effort to go to the well, the old fashioned kind – put the bucket on the hook, crank it ALL the way down to the bottom and then crank it back up ONLY to find it empty, would your need be met? Would you be able to quench your thirst? or use the water to wash your clothes? bathe yourself or your child? NO!! You would walk away potentially feeling sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.
Knowing that the well was dried up, would you go back to get more water? Maybe, right? Maybe it just happened to be dry that day, maybe tomorrow would be different, maybe because it rained or something like that, there would be water. So, the next day you go to the SAME well, drop the SAME bucket ONLY to find that – OH MY the well IS still dry! Shoot, once again your needs are not met and you walk away with the same feelings you had the day before…….sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.
This could go on for days – hoping to get different results. Until finally the decision is made to accept the reality that the well is dry, it will no longer meet the needs that it once did. You let it go. You find another well to meet your needs. BUT it’s VERY difficult and it can take a lot of time!!
Over the past couple of years I’ve asked myself why in the world am I continually drawn to “dry wells”? NOW I’m talking about people and relationships. I make the connection between the two because some of the relationships that I’ve had OR have are like dry wells……….they do not quench my thirst. I continue to go to the people/relationship thinking the next time will be different, but it’s not. I leave sad, defeated, some times insecure, judged, frustrated, empty.
I’ve come to the realization that we indeed are creatures of habit AND change is NOT easy!! What have I done? I’ve taken the path of least resistance in some cases and continue to get the same results. YUK – that’s painful!!
Yesterday my friend shared with me this analogy. She said, “Sometimes we have to set aside or walk away from the unhealthy to make room in our lives for God to bring healthy.”
Oooooohhhhh! We liked this, but we both decided that it’s a very difficult task! It’s true, but hard because we want so bad for the “well” aka. relationship/person NOT to be dry! Plus, it’s easy to just NOT work on de-cluttering and be status quo, even though it’s unhealthy and painful. DOUBLE PLUS, if we let go of that, even though it’s unhealthy – WHAT do we replace it with in the meantime? Do we trust God to bring us healthy?
The one thing to keep in mind is like a dried up well, they are most often ALWAYS still there. As we make the decision to accept, set aside the unhealthy to make room for the healthy – it doesn’t mean we need to destroy or eliminate – we just don’t need to go there anymore. We need to set boundaries and make room for God to bring us healthy.
How many dry wells are you going to?
Daily KIP: We cannot meet the demands of others in our world if our fuel tank is empty and we’re running on fumes. What are you doing to put gas in YOUR tank?
Monday night, my family set out to see Santa. I piled Owen and Gracie into our car, and met my husband at the local mall around 5 PM.
I should first tell you about the ride to the mall. My 6 year old, Owen, began to ask questions. “Is Santa real?” Apparently Anna, also a first grader, has told all her friends at school that Santa isn’t real. (Thanks Anna.) Owen then said: there is no such thing as reindeer that can fly, and how could there possibly be a santa at every mall? I could just see his little mind going. He then asked a very sweet question- “Do I have to believe in santa?” Not really knowing how to answer, I threw it back at him and said, “Why do you say that?” He answered, “I don’t want to hurt his feelings.” He then concluded all on his own, that the santa we were going to see was probably a santa helper who communicates back to the real santa everyone’s wish lists. Gracie just sat and listened to this conversation, not really phased by any of it.
When we got to the mall, much to our surprise, there was a very short line! We live in MN, so once inside, my kids threw off their coats and I found myself quickly holding 3 down coats, a purse and camera bag. A mom thing I guess- we can double as a coat tree. As we got closer, we noticed that Santa wasn’t perched in his chair… Yup. He was having dinner. “Be back at 6:00” sign sat on his chair, instead of his friendly face. Some quick decision making, and we decided to wait it out. The “Be back at 6:00” turned into “Be back at 6:20” – I guess he was having dessert. Doug met us in line, and helped out with the coats and helped keep an eye on the kids as they ran in circles.
About half way through the waiting, Gracie began to start whining. I can’t blame her, waiting in line for over an hour is a lot to expect of a 4 year old, even if it is to see Santa. She was begging me to hold her, and when she put her face next to mine, much to my surprise, her face was burning up. Another mom talent- knowing your child has a fever without the use of a thermometer. “My throat hurts, my tummy hurts, my head hurts…” Seriously? Just like that, she started to fade, and fade quickly. We couldn’t exactly leave at that point. Owen was waiting anxiously, and a bit more patiently than the rest of us. I think he wanted to answer some of his “Is Santa real?” questions. We also saw the long line that had formed behind us, and we suddenly felt a greater sense of urgency for Santa to down his dessert and get on with the show. We had visions of Gracie tossing her cookies all over Santa and the line of parents and children behind us raging at the mishap.
Fortunately, that didn’t happen. We made it through the remainder of our wait, and both Owen and Gracie were able to tell Santa what they wanted for Christmas. We made sure Gracie didn’t get too close (she didn’t actually sit on his lap), and we paid our $17 for 2 hokey pictures to capture the moment. After all, it was the real Santa at the Burnsville mall on Monday night!
Yet another Mickschl memory. I sometimes wonder, does every family have these moments? I wouldn’t trade them for anything.
Wishing you and yours a very fun, unexpected, joy-filled Christmas.
My morning routine, when it’s my turn to take the boys to school, is to go through the drive-thru at Starbucks and grab a coffee before I “hit the highway”. So, last Thursday I did just that. Placed my order, pulled up to the window looked in my wallet – had absolutely NO cash, thanks to the boys who tap me out continuously at the hockey rink getting snacks at the concession stand, UGH! Anyway, so I decided to grab my credit card. Thinking to me, this is embarrassing that I’m going to charge a $2.00 coffee, I decided to purchase a gift certificate for $20.00. Yeah, that’s perfect; I can use that gift card later – tomorrow! So, I gave the card to my friendly Starbucks barista and the card was DECLINED!I HAVE to tell you how the story ended with the card that morning. I went back to Starbucks sat in a comfy oversized chair with my laptop to view my account online. My balance was OVER the $900.00 limit, approximately $1,400.00 because of some preauthorization’s for hotel charges and airfare for my husband’s business trip. To my surprise the reward points that had accumulated over the years were 220,000 – I had never really looked at them before OR what I could do with them. I took the time to figure it out and I was able to convert them into cash and electronically have a deposit into our checking account. So today, I checked our account and the money was there……just over $2,000.00 can you believe it?? I used that money to pay off the new balance on the card AND had a little left over. We haven’t needed the card so now were going to cancel it. I LOVE how God works!! He’s soooooooo cool!
Daily KIP: Forgive someone who has offended you. Make a conscious decision to do something that would bless them! You in turn, will be blessed.
Lately I’ve been frustrated with the word TRY. I know it sounds strange……really, who actually thinks that much about a word?!?!
I understand that there are times when we need to use the word TRY. Here are a few examples:
2. People need to try-out for a team or a part in a play.
3. Trying new foods is another good example – in fact, in our family we have a “try-club” that my boys belong to and this is how we encourage them to try new foods.
I could continue on with many more examples where to “try” something is positive, encourages growth, and gets people to experience more in life – that’s GREAT!!
I’ve often caught myself using the word TRY as a cop-out or an excuse to just move on to the next thing instead of being truly honest. So let me give you a couple examples of what that looks like:
1. A friend is telling me about a new seafood restaurant that they LOVED and they recommend it to me. I say, “OH that’s sounds GREAT, I’ll have to give it a try sometime.” (SERIOUSLY I have NO intention of ever trying this restaurant – I don’t eat seafood – thanks for sharing!!! Why couldn’t I have just said that? That’s REAL!)
2. I’m talking with someone about a situation that I’m going through and they give me their advice sharing with me something that worked/helped them and I say, “OH that sounds good, I’ll have to try that.” (BUT, Inside I’m thinking, you have absolutely NO clue what I’m talking about – I soooo don’t agree with you and I’m NOT going to do that – SORRY!!)
Again, I could go on with more examples of this type of “try” and now that I’ve written these, I’m embarrassed to say that I do this OFTEN…….I need to focus on keeping it real with others, WOW!
The “try” that has been frustrating to me are NOT the two I’ve shared above. You see, over the past month I’ve noticed in others and haven’t been able to understand why some people close to me continue to tell me their “trying” to change certain things but the “certain things” continue to stay the same. My thoughts are – this trying thing is NOT working!! JUST DO IT!! DECIDE and DO IT – don’t try anymore – MAKE IT HAPPEN!!
Here’s one that I see with my boys. Boys will be boys, they fight, like boys do, and sometimes (ok, a lot of times) are rude and disrespectful – UGH!! When I talk with them about their behavior the response I typically get from them is, “Ok mom, I’ll try to be nice to my brother.” NO LESS than 10 minutes later the behavior they said they were TRYING to change comes right back at me. COME On, BE NICE!!
As I write this I’m reflecting on me and how I am; Usually when I’m frustrated about something in others, I have to look in the mirror. I’ve got a lot of work to do in this area in my parenting, relationships, and other situations. Looks like it’s time for me to answer the question: What is it that I need to STOP “trying” and DO?
