I met this little guy on a walk one fall morning. I guess you could say we didn’t formally meet. He was DOA…

…dead on arrival.

Before I found him on my path, I had been asking God some hard questions. I sat on the fence of indecision in many different ways. I felt confusion, uncertainty, and doubt blanket my mind as I climbed up the steep hills of our neighborhood. I felt crowded out of my own life, trapped by financial stress, health problems, and pressure to succeed in general. My career seemed uncertain. To say our finances were “tight” would have been the understatement of the year. To add insult to injury, after two months of really good health, I nose-dived for no apparent reason.

Then, there he lay. I realized how much we had in common…

…me and Mr. Squirrel.

The product of his indecision probably culminated in the rumble of a noise he couldn’t decipher (the engine of a car or truck careening his way) and ended with a big, rubber tire. The product of mine was playing out in an eerily similar fashion. A lack of peace about my future, fear concerning a huge business risk I had taken, and doubt that my health would ever be restored. I didn’t want to be like this squirrel; crushed by confusion.

The only thing I held onto was the promise that God knew the road ahead. How was I able to forget God’s truth so quickly? I was so easily tossed about by the waves of circumstance and I was mad about it! I was angry at myself for not being stronger. I was “Towanda” mad at my inner-squirrel. The squirrel within me that couldn’t make up his mind which direction to go, how to flee to safety, or how to steer clear of the big, rubber tire!

As I neared the end of my walk, I realized that I was letting Satan cruelly manipulate my emotions. I had lived for months worrying about my tomorrow. I had lived for weeks letting my feelings govern my days and nights. I felt God prompting me to cast off the old me, my flesh, and to walk like the new creature He created me to be. I thought of the squirrel and realized that God’s children don’t have to live this way for we are more than conquerors.

What about you? Are you frantic? Frazzled? Uncertain about your future? Take heart, God can see the road ahead and overwhelming victory is ours through Christ Jesus.

“No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.” Romans 8:37 NLT

“For fast-acting relief try slowing down” – Lily Tomlin

We can GO. GO. GO. with out stopping to take a breath because life is full of expectations.  From ourselves and others to DO. DO. DO.

Life happens.  From one day to the next.

Life goes on.  Even after hiccups, set-backs, and losses.

Life begins with today – yesterday is a memory, tomorrow doesn’t matter  – we. have. TODAY.

Enjoy TODAY…

…can you?  will you?

God gifts us 1,440 precious minutes each day, does it ever feel like enough?

We have a choice how we manage these gifts, these minutes.  How many do we sleep?  Enjoy eating?  Work, play?  Spend connecting with others, spend with loved ones?  How many do we set aside for ourselves?  How many do we give back to spend time with God, our creator?

We have TODAY…the “present” — the moment IS. A. PRESENT {gift} — L I V I N G in the moment is a very challenging way to think, to feel. We are tugged in so many directions by children, bosses, teachers, co-workers, friends, neighbors, and society.

The gift of someone’s presence is amazing to receive AND…

…amazing to give.

Have you experienced the feeling of someone’s presence?  Without the distractions of being on the phone, watching tv, playing a video game, being in a hurry to be somewhere else?

I have.  I’ve experienced someone giving me the gift of being “present” with me.  Undivided attention, focus, INTENTIONAL.  It felt great.  I want to give that FREE gift to others — be present.  My desire is to SLOW DOWN and BE with my kids, my family, my friends, AND my God.  God is present all the time; He is my provider. Keeping my focus on HIM gives me strength, hope and JOY.

This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24

Photo Credit: nerdboy

(If you received this post via email, be sure to click here to watch the video.)

Why?

What is the inspiration behind what you do…in all. areas. of. your. life?

Do you know?

Some set goals for the new year, some wrote resolutions, some chose a One Word {that’s what I do} others simply reflect and/or don’t about the new year — whatever you chose to do, the question I’m asking is what is the why behind how you …

“live” — “work” — “parent” — “relationship“

…do you know?

As I was looking ahead to the new year, I started to ask myself that question.  I peeled back the layers and identified that part of my why is to simply…

Be A Light.

My desire is to be a light into the world in which I have the opportunity to live.  In the lives of my children, my marriage, in relationships both personally and professionally, to strangers.

Taking that a step further, as I journey to discover truth, embrace love, and experience joy in my personal life — I see that’s the deeper part of my why.

I am passionate about inspiring others to find what inspires them by discovering their own truth, to fall in love with who they are, and to discover joy in their life.  Professionally I do this with my clients through life-coaching, The Ultimate Journey course, speaking, the book I wrote, and The Refine Conference.

Clearly defining my why — and wrapping my arms around it has been exciting and fuels me to press on!

So, friends, I ask YOU — what is it for you?

What is your why?

If you know, I would LOVE for you to share it with me.  If you don’t, I challenge you to explore and discover what it is.

Then…for 2012 — lets lead with our why…may it be the inspiration behind all that we do and how we live.

Photo Credit: Amy Alldis

What if, you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday?

OUCH!!

I stumbled across this message the other day and it stopped. me. in. my. tracks.

Why?  Because I had been having a pity-party.  It wasn’t fun. really, it was NOT.  There was no one at my “party” it was just me and my miserable self.

When I read these words, I thought…

…today I would have nothing.

And, that was not ok with me.  I needed to shift my thinking and take the advice that I so frequently give to others. {practice what I “preach” — walk the walk}

Write a gratitude list — NOW!

So I did, with the message in mind, “…what IF I ONLY had the things that I thanked God for.” — what are those things that I would so desperately want, miss, desire — what am I truly grateful for?

Thank YOU God for…

1. your grace, mercy, forgiveness, and for Your unconditional love for me
2. my health and a sound mind — for the strength that you give me everyday
3. my husband, his strength, provision, leadership, his health, our marriage, his hugs and kisses, the way he loves me
4. my children, their health, smiles, unique gifts and personalities, their hugs and kisses
5. always giving me and my family enough to make it through each day – food, shelter, clothing, love
6. my family, their love and support, their prayers
7. my friendships, the encouragement from others, positive healthy relationships
8. healing and restoration — in relationships, emotionally, physically, spiritually
9. opportunities to share the message you’ve place in my heart, to sow seeds, impact the lives of others, to shine Your light, the freedom to share
10. technology — for providing us ways to learn and grow, to connect, to simplify

…my pity-party ended as I made my list.

Tomorrow starts a New Year, a new beginning.  What’s on your gratitude list?  What are those things that you want to wake up with tomorrow; to carry into 2012?

Write a gratitude list — NOW!

Recently my husband and I got the gift of a lifetime…

…ONE whole weekend without our kids.

For some of you that may not sound like much, but for us, it was a miracle. We have no family who live close in our area, so these types of weekends are few and far between.

As a matter of fact, my youngest, who is 3, had never spent one night away from us until that weekend. We also realized that it had been nearly 5 years since we’ve been alone for even an evening. It was about time don’t you think?

We were able to just have quietness in our house, an uninterrupted meal, and {my favorite} an uninterrupted thought!

We got a glimpse of who we were before we had children. Remembering what it was like to be alone with each other. And do you know what I discovered? I discovered a boyfriend!

You know what I mean, the person who would go into a shop with you just to look, and act interested in the gadgets you look at just because YOU are interested in them. I also discovered myself as a girlfriend again. Not just mom, or businesswoman, or wife, but…

…a girl in love with a boy.

Our everyday reality is bombarded by the immediate, the necessary, and the urgent so much that we rarely get to have these moments to just be together, take a walk, or slowly browse a store.

How easy it could be to allow that to taint who we believe we are married to. How easy it would be for my husband to believe that he is just married to the overworked, sleep deprived mom.  Rather than…

…the girl still in love with the boy.

It is a season in our life for us right now, but that’s just it… it’s only a season. I promised to stand by this man forever, and I choose to do so even when I find it hard to see the boyfriend in the midst of the busyness, and chaos.

How easy it would be for the enemy of our soul to come between us and convince us to look for that carefree relationship we once enjoyed in another person. Or even to blame the other for not being who we think they should be.

God didn’t put us together so that we could forever enjoy a carefree, fully satisfied relationship. That is reserved for our relationship with Christ alone. Relationships are a hard, refining process that we are smart to be trained by.

The enemy of our soul would like nothing more than to destroy our marriages and convince us we are missing something that we deserve. And he is right!  The truth really is that we are meant for another relationship that is to satisfy our soul.

But that has nothing to do with another person. We are meant to seek Christ. We are meant to long for that satisfaction that can only come from God. He is the only one who can fully satisfy. He is the only one who will fully complete us. And I’ll be honest; I can’t wait for that day.

How about you?

Photo Credit: BestPix Photography

I think that it is fairly obvious from scripture that God has an intense and reckless love for children.

“And they were bringing children to him that he might touch them, and the disciples rebuked them. But when Jesus saw it, he was indignant and said to them, “Let the children come to me; do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of God. Truly, I say to you, whoever does not receive the kingdom of God like a child shall not enter it.” And he took them in his arms and blessed them, laying his hands on them.” Mark 10:13-16 ESV

Over the past three weeks I have been working alongside hundred of volunteers processing shoeboxes at the Operation Christmas Child processing center here in Boone, North Carolina.

We processed here in Boone alone over 744,000 shoeboxes that will travel around the world and into the arms of a needy child somewhere on the planet. By receiving these shoebox gifts these children have an open door to hear the life saving message of Jesus Christ. Many also have the opportunity to take part in a 12-week discipleship program where they can learn in depth about thriving in a relationship with God.

As I’ve worked in that processing center God has continually and gently reminded me of the importance of children and how near and dear they are to the heart of God.

He has reminded me that I am to “receive the kingdom of God like a small child.”

He brought me to tears several times as I laid hands on a shoebox and He reminded me the importance of both reaching children for Jesus AND the need to be willing to humble myself like a child to be sensitive to the message of Christ.

What does it mean to “receive the kingdom of God like a small child”?

Come with a pure heart. I do believe from my studies that scripture tells us that we are born with the original sin of Adam, but overall children have not been hardened by difficult things of the world and hurts that many of us carry with us. When we come to know Jesus we recognize our sin, ask for the forgiveness of Jesus and ask Him to cleanse us of it. He washes our hearts clean. Children are at a place where they can do this more easily, they don’t have as much that they are holding on to such as hurts and other habits that many of us hold on to that hinder our walk with God.

Trust. Children are willing to trust no matter what. Again they believe what they are told and are not skeptical and distrusting of people. If we trusted God like children trust people then our walk with God would be revolutionized. We would finally take Him at his word, believe what he says, and stop questioning His truths. We would be bold and stop out in faith.

Have a Bold Faith. Faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see.  Similar to trusting Christ, children have the ability to be sure and certain. This is a trait that many of us lack as adults.

Obedience. There is just something about a child who is taught to share the message of Christ at a young age. Suddenly they are little evangelists. They don’t care what people do or think. They just want to share the message of who Jesus is with others. They have “tasted and seen that he is good.” May our obedience to Christ echo that of the heart of a child.

Now, that I see more clearly what it means to “receive the kingdom of God like a small child” I understand even more why ministering to children is so important!

Many of the children who receive these shoebox gifts from Operation Christmas Child go home and share the message of Christ with their brothers, sisters, friends, aunts, uncles, mother and father. They often don’t just change a child, they can change and impact a whole family, they can start churches and revolutionize villages.

If you missed shoebox collection this year, and you have a heart to impact a child in this way it isn’t too late to pack a box. You can easily build a box online http://www.samaritanspurse.org/index.php/OCC/

Cravings…

We all have them. Chocolate. Ice cream. Pickles. Sushi.

When I was pregnant with my first child, I craved chicken nuggets. And not just any kind of chicken nuggets. My strange, estrogen-laden desire could only be satisfied by the ones from McDonalds.

Don’t judge me. I couldn’t help it.

So it could be 11 pm at night or 10:30 am in the morning, but the sweet husband would do his best to fulfill my desperate longing for chicken nuggets.

Nothing else would do.

My son had a different kind of craving years ago. It was early December seven years ago and it was time to decorate the house for Christmas. My daughter was 5 at the time, and my son was 15 months old. Being smart parents, we decide to wait until my son took his long afternoon nap to do the majority of decking our halls.

We placed the breakable ornaments high on the tree and beautified our mantle with a wreath and Christmas lights. The last thing we did was set up the nativity scene. Because the nativity was made from olive wood, my daughter took great pleasure in handling this task herself. She placed each figure precisely where she wanted them to be. We talked about the Jesus story and read the scripture from Luke 2.  It was a special time. I explained to her that we would share the experience with her little brother when he woke up from his nap. She agreed…reluctantly.

When Ryan woke from his nap, and his feet hit the floor, he ran. This was not unusual for my highly energetic little boy. The lights, the ornaments, the colors, the tree, and the mantle mesmerized him. His eyes flitted around the house as his feet tried to keep up. And then his eyes caught something not quite as shiny, but nevertheless infatuating…

The nativity scene on the coffee table.

He ran to the table, and started frantically grabbing each figure of the Christmas story. His sister shrieked with fear of destruction! And as she began to leverage her five-year-old authority, she insisted that he put all of those animals and people down. After a lot of coaxing on my part and a great deal of hesitation on his part, he finally gave in. One by one, he dropped the figures back onto the table. Well, all but one…

…he would not give up baby Jesus.

At fifteen months old, he already knew the most important role in that Nativity story. He was willing to give up all the rest of the figurines, but not baby Jesus. Nothing or no one else would do.

“Without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to Him must believe that He exists and that He rewards those who earnestly seek Him.” Hebrews 11:6

In the original Greek language, the words earnestly seek can mean diligently search, or even

…to crave.

In other words, God rewards those who crave Him.

When is the last time we craved Jesus?

This Christmas season, when there are so many other things that compete for our attention, let us crave Jesus. Let us earnestly seek Him. He is the only One who satisfies. The only One who matters.

Nothing or no one else will do.

Photo Credit:  inh3ll

Last weekend I enjoyed a conversation with two mothers about how to help our children discover and follow their calling.

Let’s just look at the fruit of that conversation and explore how we can help our children find their way toward a vocation.

What is our role? How can we help?

First ask yourself, “What motivates me toward one thing and not another? Why do I chase one dream and not another?”

Because I like it.
Because I’m good at it.
Because I want to be better at it.
Because I can see how it affects others and serves them.

It’s the same for our children. Some children naturally follow their heart toward a calling and others aren’t sure where to go. To help them answer these questions we need to observe, encourage and be flexible as they grow, change and develop into the people God wants them to be.

Observe your child
What does he like?
What comes naturally to him?
What does he talk about?
Where does he spend his free time?
What does he read?

My son James began building Legos when he was two. Many boys do. At three years old he built an exact replica of the London Bridge using Knex pieces. Granted there were directions which means other children were building it too, but to have the diligence to stick to a project like that day after day at three years old caused me to make note of it.

On vacation he always made little comments about buildings and bridges, roof angles and shapes of structures. During his free reading time he loved looking at books like, The New Way Things Work and books with lots of pictures of buildings inside. A pattern was emerging. I began praying for God to show James how He created him and direct him toward a vocation that would use his gifts and interests. James plans to get an architectural engineering degree.

My other son, Jonathan, spends hours with music. He plays the piano, guitar and cello. There is a website that allows you to write music. He spends a lot of time on that. His friends like music and when they are together that’s what they talk about. No matter where we are, if someone is talking about music, he mysterious shows up quietly in the background, listening and watching. He’s 13 and tells us he wants to major in piano in college.

Encourage Your Child
Only God knows where these boys will end up serving him. I don’t feel it’s my job to push them in one direction or the other. My job is to train them in God’s ways and encourage who he has created them to be.

How? When I see James reading about how something is made, I mention how easily he understands things like that. When James took geometry, it was a snap for him. I told him that was a bit unusual and to take note of it as he considers where he wants to go in his future. When Jonathan spends hours on the piano, I tell him how much I enjoy his music. When he practices a hard piece over and over, I tell him I can see him being successful with a music degree in college because it requires a lot of determination.

One of the ladies I was talking to has seven children. Her question to me was, “How can I do this with all of my children?” The other lady said, “Show me what this practically looks like.” Here is what I suggested:

1.  Create a notebook for this one purpose.

2.  Create a section in the notebook for each child.

3.  When you notice something about a particular child, write it down and leave it there. It’s not time to ponder what you see. You’re just recording for now.

Include everything that comes to mind. Is he shy? All the time or just in certain situations. Is he out going? Where? How? What kind of reading does he enjoy on his own time? How does he interact with other friends? Adults? When he’s with a group of friends, does he lead or follow? Does he think better when he’s still and quiet or moving around? There isn’t a magic formula for jotting down these things. You’re not looking for patterns now. You’re just writing down the facts.

4.  When each child reaches 12 years or so, read what you’ve written.

Think about it.

What patterns do you see?

Go online and look at vocational titles that use the gifts you see developing. Pray for God to show you and him a direction to follow. Encourage him in the areas you see emerging.

With my children, I didn’t tell them what I saw until they began to tell me where they wanted to go.

Why? Because I wanted them to know they were hearing from God and not just choosing a path to please Mamma.

Was I silent? No, but my voice was that of an encourager about what I could see not directives about where to go.

Be Flexible
Will these boys end up where I see them heading right now?

I don’t know.

What I do know is that I can encourage them about the character and gifts I see God is developing in them.

Encouragement builds.

It feels good for someone to notice who you are. Since every child at their age wonders, “Where am I going? What am I supposed to do with the rest of my life?” this encouragement will help them feel they are not alone.

What have you done to help your child follow his dreams?

“Every child you encounter is a divine appointment.” Wess Stafford

From YouTube footage of a teen being whipped with a belt for ‘discipline’ — to famous coaches sexually molesting numerous children over a number of years, the reality of child abuse has reared its ugly head over the last several weeks.

I have taken a special interest in these stories because abuse is my formal line-of-work.  I see children just like the above mentioned.  I interview and examine them.  I collect evidence when able…

…I see their anguish, their shame.

I talk to their non-offending parents who are brought to their knees in devastation.

Horrified. Heart broken. Innocence lost.

They are victims. Victims of others’ sinful, destructive and hurtful actions. But, the abuse they have endured doesn’t define who they are. It is our job, each and every one of us, to let these children know how very special they are. How God created each of them and He has a plan for them.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

We may not know them personally, but we can pray for them, for their families, and for their recovery. My prayer would sound something like this song, Beautiful by Mercy Me…

Days will come when you don’t have the strength
When all you hear is you’re not worth anything
Wondering if you ever could be loved
And if they truly saw your heart they’d see too much
And praying that you have the heart to find
Cause you are more than what is hurting you tonight
For all the lies you’ve held inside so long
And they are nothing in the shadow of the cross
Before you ever took a breath
Long before the world began
Of all the wonders He possessed
There was one more precious
Of all the earth and skies above
You’re the one He madly loves enough to die
You’re beautiful
In His eyes
You’re beautiful
You are made for so much more than all of this
You’re beautiful
You are treasured, You are sacred, You are His

“Safety and security don’t just happen, they are the result of collective consensus and public investment. We owe our children, the most vulnerable citizens in our society, a life free of violence and fear.” – Nelson Mandela, former president of South Africa

My hope is that these horrendous stories of sexual and physical abuse create a public awareness. That instead of turning a blind eye, we might have the courage to speak up and say something when faced with an opportunity to ally a child.

My question for you –> What role can YOU play?

Without any self-control and shouted loud enough for the neighbors to hear, if the windows were open, these words flew out of my mouth like hot flames,

“You are ungrateful and spoiled!  All you do is fight, whine, and complain — I am DONE!  Just done with you, BOTH of you!”

It was 7:30 in the evening on a Tuesday, homework time.  The tension always seems to be high when we sit down to do this.  They both need my help.  There is frustration in the air, no patience…

…But, my words.

Those words, those shouted words that flowed off my tongue so freely — that’s what I’m talking about.  You see, there is no excuse that can make my behavior okay.  Once I said them, I could not take them back.  When I was done, there was silence…my raised voice got their attention, they both completed their homework; I continued to help.

When my oldest nugget was done, he packed up his backpack and said, “I’m done now.  I’m going to bed.  Please don’t come tuck me in.”

When my youngest son was done, he packed up his backpack, looked me in the eyes and said, “I’m not sure I want to be your son any more.”  With his little lip quivering and his voice cracking trying to hold back his tears he whispered, “I couldn’t swallow, I almost stopped breathing.  My heart almost stopped beating, it’s cracked by your mean words.  Am I a bad person?”

…my destructive words.

I always have a choice to respond positively or negatively in every situation, A L W A Y S…so do you.

I wrapped my arms around my little guy and spoke softly through my tears, “I’m so sorry sweetie, I was wrong.  You are not a bad person — you are a very good person.  God created you and me and everyone very good.  I was wrong to respond with those words.  I was wrong to raise my voice.”

I made amends with both boys that night, I tucked them both in.  I did my best to affirm them and build them up.  I shared with them how I felt about their behavior and about what happened that led up to my inexcusable-outburst.  It was an opportunity to discuss the power of words, we all learned a lesson from this…

Words can build up or Words can tear down — choose them wisely.

“Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” - Pearl Strachan Hurd

Are you choosing your words wisely?  Is there anyone who you need to make amends with because you tore them down with your words?  Who can YOU build-up with your words today?