I was getting ready to board a plane, grabbing a coffee from Starbucks which happened to be connected to a Simply Books book store, when the title of this book called my name; That’s My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character, by Rick Johnson…………THAT I needed to read!
I quickly grabbed my coffee, purchased the book. boarded the plane, and DEVOURED it! From San Diego to Minneapolis I couldn’t put the book down.
Have you ever looked at your boy and asked yourself this question, “How am I ever going to raise this little guy into a good man?” I HAVE ~ UGH!! I have such a deep desire to instill good character qualities into my boys, but sometimes I wonder, especially after I’ve lost my voice from hollering at them all day, If I’m equipped.
Whether you LOVE to read (like me!) or not, I promise you, this book you will appreciate. I was educated, challenged, and inspired. Additionally, I was validated. I know there are other moms are out there just like me, doing the best they can to raise Good Men!
The author Rick Johnson writes a clear message to mothers in an easy to read format. He delivers practical suggestions on how we, as mothers, can teach our boys good character qualities. He also provides insight on what it takes to be a man and what it is that makes a man “tick” – I NEEDED to know THAT!! After all, as Rick mentions in his introduction, he discovered there is much value in the old adage, “It’s easier to raise a boy than to fix a man.”
The main concept I took from this book is this: I need to frequently point out good character traits to my boys when I see them in their lives as well as in the lives of other males. Additionally, I need to point out bad character traits when I see them by asking this question, “Is that a quality of a good man?”. I’ve started this process and am amazed by how well it’s working. They are so happy when I verbalize their good qualities and understand the difference in their behavior when I ask them that simple question. I am noticing ‘baby step’ changes!! YIPEE!!
You can check out what others are saying about this book too by following the link below.
That’s My Son: How Moms Can Influence Boys to Become Men of Character
IF this title/book interests you and you decide to read it too, I would LOVE to hear what your thoughts are and what you learned.
Now……off to find my NEXT read! tj
Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh… Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh.
Last week, our family piled into our car, and headed west. 10 hours west to be exact. We toured South Dakota for the next 5 days before we turned around and headed back the same 10 hour stretch as our trip began.
One of the traditions my husband started when we backed out of our driveway was to play the song, “Holiday Road” every time we got in the car. (You know, the theme song from National Lampoon’s Vacation?) The reaction from Gracie was joyful. She began singing along the minute it started. “Turn it up” she would scream with delight. Owen on the other hand, got a little grumpy. Like he was ‘too cool’ to participate in our silly family fun. I would sneak a look in his direction, and see him trying desperately hard NOT to smile. Before long we would all be laughing and singing along… “Holiday Road, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh!”
We had the most amazing time exploring, sight seeing, appreciating the God given beauty of the Bad Lands and Black Hills. I knew it was going to be pretty. Just didn’t realize how pretty. Breath taking, really. There were several times during this trip when I sat back, consumed with gratitude. Gratitude for my family, for this opportunity to spend time with them. And to share appreciation for each other and the beauty around us.
As you can imagine, a road trip like this can also lend itself to some irritability as we were in each others’ hair, literally 24/7. At times I felt like we were playing a part in a National Lampoon movie. (Please don’t speculate which character I was playing!) Tempers flared, patience grew thin. But somehow we would rally. These moments were usually short lived, and we would soon be back to singing, “Holiday Road….”
So here’s to all of you taking Griswold family vacations this summer! And for those of you considering… just do it! You won’t regret the memories you will make with your family. All of them. The good, the bad and the ugly!
Please share with us your summer vacation memories, and silly traditions!
Its been several weeks since this happened. Every time I think about it, it brings a smile to my face. I’ve been wanting to write about it, I JUST haven’t taken the time………today I FINALLY am.
Thursday, June 4th I was exhausted. My back had been out for a couple of weeks, I was slowly on the mend, but things were not being accomplished because I just was NOT feeling up to it. The boys were NOW out of school – so the transition from “my” time during the day had begun. I needed to adjust to sharing the treasured hours during the day, where I could accomplish things with out distractions, with worrying about the boys being bored, having something fun to do, breaking up the “brotherly love” fighting, and taxi mom to play dates, day camps, and sports activities. UFDAH – it was JUST the first day of summer!!
My todo list was VERY long – we were in the process of getting our home ready to put on the market. It’s amazing to me how much work needs to be done to get the house ready for others to see it. The punch list from the realtor was 3 pages long! I had to call in the troops to assist me with my mini-extreme makeover home addition project. I had THAT day ONLY before I was headed out of town to meet a friend who I hadn’t seen in 1 year, so I needed to make the best of it.
I woke up that morning, still NOT feeling well, and begun visualizing my day. It didn’t look pretty. Here were my racing thoughts: My husband was out of town (hhhmmmm, how convenient?!?!?) so he wasn’t available to help. Every closet and cupboard had to be de-cluttered and organized. The movers were coming to rearrange and remove furniture to put into storage. The handyman was coming to fix things, paint, drill, hang, etc. Tina, the home “stager” was coming to suggest and give pointers on how to make the home SHINE for showings. Kelly, my cleaning lady was coming to help with cleaning, wash windows, and sorting things into piles: Keep. Toss. Good Will. It was going to BE Grand Central Station. Then I thought………I sure do love my little nuggets dearly, but I knew that the day would be stressful with them being home. I had forgotten about THEM being home, school was OUT!! oops!
Then I got the phone call. My friend Tricia called. She asked if she could pick up the boys and take them for the afternoon. WOW, REALLY?!?! Apparently I had mentioned to her previously about this day and she knew the boys would be out of school. So, she offered to take them for the day. I felt a little guilty at first, you know, the “SUPER mom guilt” which causes you to respond to an offer like that this way, “Oh, NO, that’s ok, I can manage.” The LIE that just so easily flows out of our mouths – we say NO when we REALLY REALLY mean YES – HELP ME!! SOS!! Ok, so that’s what I did initially UNTIL she insisted and wouldn’t take NO for an answer. She picked up the boys around 11:00am – took them to her home, fed them, played with them, let them run around and have a BLAST at her home on her land out in the country. I was able to tackle my punch list with OUT any distractions. She was a BLESSING to me that day, and I STILL appreciate it so very much!
What’s more is that in addition to the FREE gift she blessed me with by watching my boys, a couple of days later she emailed me these special gifts.
WOW! PRICELESS pictures of my boys! I hadn’t taken the time in years to have professional photos taken of the boys and she captured them so beautifully!
Thank you Tricia for blessing me that day and Thank you for keeping it personal, for taking action with the lingering thought that passed through your mind to help me. I appreciate you and our friendship. I hope to sometime return the blessing to you!! :-)
Ps. If you’re looking for a GREAT photographer check out her work on her website by clicking here.
I had the opportunity to spend the day watching my boys participate in their all school track and field day. Of course, if you know me, a few days prior I was worried that it would be really hot and that I would have to figure out how to stay cool with out getting “funky” tan lines, BUT to my pleasant surprise, it was cool, overcast, and dry – a PERFECT day for this special event.
Each class of students from kindergarten through 8th grade wore their class colored t-shirt. Zane’s was orange and Zachary’s just happened to be PINK. Yes, pink, not a light pink, but a BRIGHT fuschia-pink. Believe me, I had a slight battle at home this morning getting my little athlete to put this t-shirt over his head, but eventually he did. Pink is NOT a color that exists in my boys’ closets and after today I’m pretty sure we will be donating that cute little ‘t’ to one of my friends daughters OR the good will.
There must’ve been a couple hundred people at the track; students, teachers, other school staff members, parents, and grandparents. Everyone was there to cheer each other on, volunteer, encourage, and support all the participants. The kids had so much fun and worked really hard at each event – giving it their all!
When the time came at the end of the day to tally up all the scores, times, distances and determine who took 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place in each event, my mind instantly went to the “underdog.” I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for kids who get left out, who aren’t as “popular”, or get teased. This kind of reminds me of when I was younger in gym class – when the gym teacher elected 2 captains and had the captains pick the kids THEY wanted on their team. Do you know what I’m talking about, do you remember? Frequently, I was one of the last ones picked so this is a vivid memory for me. I’m over it now, but it has definitely left a tender place in my spirit for others that get picked last or don’t “win.”
At the award ceremony everyone received a purple participation ribbon. The smiles glowed on the faces of those who were called up individually to receive either a blue 1st place, red 2nd place, or white 3rd place ribbon – they were so proud of their accomplishment. The older kids seemed to be more competitive, paying close attention to who got what and how many.
The last and final ribbon was YELLOW it was the Good Sportsmanship Ribbon and only 2 were given for each grade, one to a girl and one to a boy. I was sitting at the table with the 4th grade boys; there are only 6 boys in my sons class, so imagine the competitiveness. All were anxiously awaiting to hear which 1 of the 6 would get the ONLY yellow ribbon. The teacher called up the boy who she felt earned this award and spoke briefly as to why he was chosen. A few of the words she used to describe him were: positive attitude, encouraging, helpful, joyful.
Zachary’s classmate was proud to be awarded that special ribbon along with his purple participation ribbon. As he walked back to the table and took his seat, another classmate said something that impressed me, his name is Ryan. He looked up from his pile of Red, White, and Blue’s and said to me, “The yellow ribbon is really the most important ribbon – it really is.” I smiled and shook my head, I agreed.
As I drove away from that fun filled day, I got to thinking about life – I know, I seem to be doing a lot of DEEP REFLECTION lately. But I couldn’t help to think about what Ryan said. He’s right – it’s about attitude, being positive, encouraging others, helping, and having joy – REGARDLESS if you WIN or LOSE!! In this “rat race” of life, keeping our sights focused on earning the yellow ribbon is truly what matters…….it’s MOST important.
Daily KIP: Many of us grew up hearing this time and time again from our parents or other grown-ups in our lives. If you’re a parent, you’ve most likely spoken this to your children many times. Let us NOT overlook this simple, yet impacting, golden rule in OUR life today……..Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.
Last week, I had the opportunity to road trip it to Kansas City with my husband, he had a business meeting on Monday so I tagged along. I love traveling with him especially when we drive. We have the best conversations, I read books out loud to him, and of course I sing OUT LOUD to all my favorite downloaded songs at the top of my lungs. I think he likes it, it really do.
We arrived on Sunday, checked into the our hotel on the plaza, walked to Bo Lings, a popular local chinese restaurant, stuffed our faces, then stopped at Chaz on our way back, had coffee and a YUMMY chocolate peanut butter dessert and listened to a band play some cool tunes.
When I woke up on Monday, I had a free day to do what I wanted to do – YIPEE!! I was determined to get outside and go for a run because the day was so beautiful. As I was getting ready I realized that I had lost my ipod holder, the one that goes on my arm when I run, AND I didn’t have a jacket with pockets to hold my room key, a little cash and my cell phone just in case of an emergency. So, I laced up my shoes and set out headed towards the plaza and about 2 hours later after going to several stores, I was FINALLY ready to run. I got a dorky little fanny pack for my “stuff” and a case for my ipod. As I started to run I thought to myself, “Had I just kept it simple, I would’ve been done by now and enjoying the day.”……oh well, off I went.
Jammin’ to my music I couldn’t help but notice the homeless people I passed by………one man under the bridge, the second man sitting on the bench who returned a smile, the third man sleeping on the bench snoring, and the fourth man flying a kite. From a far, I thought he was holding a fishing pole but as I got closer I realized he was looking up. Sure enough, up in the sky I saw his red, white, and blue kite. It was a great day for flying a kite, just the right conditions.
Something inside of me prompted me to stop and talk to this man. Partially because I wanted a break from my run, I was huffing and puffing, and partially because I was taken back to a “simple place” when I saw him flying the kite. The simplicity of life when I was a child, the memories of me flying a kite. Carefree. Adventurous. Free time. This homeless man had a smile on his face and a name, it was Greg. We had a really nice talk. What a joyful man; for someone who had nothing, he sure seemed full! He inspired me.
He let me fly his kite. As I was managing the kite he shared with my that this was his second kite. His last kite ended up in the tree which he pointed out to me, it was still there. He had to save his money to get this new one. He loved the tail of his new kite. I never got a close up look at the tail, but he assured me that he tied everything he owned (like socks, pieces of cloth, etc.) on the tail because he liked to watch it wave in the wind. We must’ve chatted for about 20 minutes and before I put my ear buds back into my ears I thanked him for letting me fly his kite. He in turn thanked me for taking the time to stop and talk with him, he said, “It’s not often when people stop to talk to me.”
One week later, I’m still thinking about Greg and his kite. I’m reminded to keep it simple. Embrace the little things in life that can create memories and bring joy. I’m encouraged to just go for “the run” and not worry about the music, the fanny pack and all the stuff. I’m encouraged to start eliminating distractions and pay attention to opportunities to just take a few minutes and talk to someone like Greg. He appreciated me on Monday, and I appreciated him – I think my kids will appreciate him too when we are flying a kite for the first time this spring……..I’m going to share with them how I was inspired by Greg.
Child abuse or should I say the prevention of -is a passion of mine. Picture this. You are at the grocery store, target, mall- some public place… when a child is acting out. You can see the anxiety of that parent rising. They may lash out at their child who is misbehaving, and maybe even in a way that concerns you. If you have ever been in that situation, what was your response? Was it to stare, or maybe even give the ‘look?’ May I make a suggestion? Any of us who are parents should be able to relate to that situation. How many times have I been standing in line at Target when one of my kids throws a tantrum because I am NOT going to buy them that fancy container of liquid sugar in the check out isle? They put it there for a reason people! For parents who decide to give in to their tantruming kids just to get the onlookers off their backs! (I’m guilty!)
Think about what might have helped you in that situation. A smile? Laughter? Recognition from someone that they have ‘been there’? In some circumstances, when you may be really concerned about the escalation of that parent’s behavior, and maybe even concerned for the safety of that child, what would you do? One recommendation may be to offer a distraction to take that parent out of the heated situation. Kindly interrupt and ask for directions. Compliment them on their clothing, hairstyle, whatever…. ask if they have seen a product. You get the idea. Something completely unrelated to the event, but because you are creating that interruption, it is giving both child and parent time to cool down.
On the other hand, if you are witnessing a violent act against a child, you have the responsibility to alert authorities. Children count on ‘the village’, and if the village fails them when warning signs are there, what is left? Unfortunately we live in a world where there is stress beyond measure. Many of us are feeling the pressures of our finances. For others it might be health issues, or lack of insurance, or a loved one who is deployed. We all have our triggers. I just ask that you, as a concerned citizen, take the responsibility to be the eyes and ears for our children. It really does take a village.
www.preventchildabuse.org
What You Can Do: Reach Out PINWHEELS FOR PREVENTION ™ CAMPAIGN
Anything you do to support kids and parents can help reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect.
Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their children are doing. Draw on your own experiences to provide reassurance and support. If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit or run errands, or just lend a friendly ear. Show you understand.
Be a friend to a child you know. Remember their names. Smile when you talk with them. Ask them about their day at school. Send them a card in the mail. Show you care.
Talk to your neighbors about looking out for one another’s children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your apartment building or on your block. Show that you are involved.
Give your used clothing, furniture and toys for use by another family. This can help relieve the stress of financial burdens that parents sometimes take out on their kids.
Volunteer your time and money for programs in your community that support children and families, like parent support groups or day care centers.
