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Last week I had the opportunity to see the movie Joyful Noise — “pre-release” — I liked it…

…hope. perseverance. love.

BUT, what really touched my heart and kept me thinking for days after were the lyrics to the first song that opened the movie:

Man In The Mirror by Michael Jackson

I’m starting with the man in the mirror
I’m asking him to change his ways

And no message could have been any clearer

If you wanna make the world a better place
Take a look at yourself, and then make a change

This is what I’m talking about today in my video –> CHANGE starts with me.  I mean, CHANGE starts with you.  I mean, CHANGE starts with ourselves, individually.

IF you wanna make the world {your world…your surroundings…your “life”…your day} a better place — take a look at YOURSELF and THEN make. a. change.

YOU.  ME. WE. need to BE the change we want to see!

Are YOU looking at the {wo}man in the mirror and asking {her} him to change {her} his ways?  OR are you looking for everyone else to make a change thinking that your “world” would be better IF they make the change?

Photo Credit:  ElvertBarnes

From the archives and modified…

What is a dry well?  Simply put it’s a well that is dry, one that does not produce any water.  A dry well would be one that no one returns to to quench their thirst and in most cases it would be capped of, abandoned and forgotten.

…but they are most often always still there.

Getting water from a well is not an easy task, it a takes a lot of work.

I’m not talking about the modern day technology kind of well that’s used by cities, allowing us to get hot or cold water from our faucets, not that kind of well.

I’m talking about the old wells. You know, the one where the bucket is hanging there – you have to manually turn the crank down to the bottom, scoop the water in the bucket and then crank the bucket up; that’s a lot of work to get one bucket of water!

IF you were to make the effort to go to the well, the old fashioned kind – put the bucket on the hook, crank it ALL the way down to the bottom and then crank it back up ONLY to find it empty…

…would your need be met?

Would you be able to quench your thirst? or use the water to wash your clothes? bathe yourself or your child?

no.

You would most likely walk away feeling sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.

Knowing that the well was dried up, would you go back to get more water?

Maybe, right?

Maybe the well just happened to be dry that day — maybe tomorrow would be different — maybe because it rained {or something like that} …there would be water.

So, the next day you go to the same well, drop the same bucket only to find…

…the well IS still dry!

Shoot!  Once again your needs are not met.  You walk away with the same feelings you had the day before; sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.

This could go on for days hoping to get different results. Until finally the decision is made to accept the reality that the well is dry.

It will no longer meet the needs that it once did.

You. let. it. go.

You find another well to meet your needs. But it’s very difficult and it can take a lot of time.

Over the past couple of years I’ve asked myself why in the world am I continually drawn to “dry wells”?

Now, I’m talking about people and relationships.

I make the connection between the two because some of the relationships that I’ve had OR have are like dry wells; they do not quench my thirst.

I continue to go to the people {relationship} thinking the next time will be different…

…but it’s not.

I leave sad, defeated, sometimes insecure, feeling judged, frustrated, empty.

I’ve come to the realization {once again} that we indeed are creatures of habit and change is not easy!

What have I done?

I’ve taken the path of least resistance, in some cases, and continue to get the same results. yuk…it’s painful.

“Sometimes we have to set aside or walk away from the unhealthy to make room in our lives for God to bring healthy.”

This statement is so true, but difficult.  Why?

Because we want so bad for the “well” aka. person {relationship} not. to. be. dry.

Plus, it’s easy to NOT work on de-cluttering and be “status quo” — even though something may be unhealthy and painful.

Double Plus, if we let go of that, even though it’s unhealthy — what do we replace it with in the meantime?

Do we trust God to bring us healthy?

Remember, people {relationships}, like a dried up well, are most often always still there.  As we make the decision to “set aside the unhealthy to make room for the healthy” — it doesn’t mean we need to destroy or eliminate — we just don’t need to go there anymore.  We need to set boundaries and make room for God to bring us healthy.

How many dry wells are you going to?

Photo Credit: wonka_chocolate

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It’s December.

Many of us are living in and enjoying the Spirit of the Season — Christmas parties, shopping for gifts, family time, and food…lots of food.  Some of us, this month, look forward into the new year — we plan, set goals, think about and decide what our New Year’s “resolutions” will be.

For me…I will pick a ONE WORD.  Inspired by the My One Word experiment.  My One Word  for 2011 was/is REFINE — I didn’t realize how appropriate it would be when I picked it last December, BUT this year has truly been that…

…refining

…in all areas of my life  {emotionally, spiritually, relationships, professionally, health/wellness} primarily because of my book, Overcoming the Nevers.

In addition to My One Word, I choose an “anchor statement” — verse, quote, “mantra” if you will.  For 2011 I chose a verse from the Bible, Daniel 11:35

I’ve never been one to be able to stick to New Year’s Resolutions.

I am a goal setter, but more of a visionary — breaking the “big picture” down to short term goals, daily steps to keep me moving forward.

So, my one word and my anchor statement are what I’m thinking about this month.

What do you do as one year comes to a close and another one begins? Set Goals? Resolutions? Nothing?

Consider picking a ONE WORD and an ANCHOR STATEMENT to keep you grounded and focused for 2012!  {If you need help choosing your word, go here.}

I’ve got MY ONE WORD and my ANCHOR picked for 2012– I will share with you next week.  Will you join me?

We have a maker. He formed us. Fashioned us.  He knew us with all our faults before we had breath. He purposed for us to be here for a reason. That is Truth.

So why is it so hard to walk in this world like we are astonishing creations who are purposely made by a holy God?

If the God of the universe took the time to carefully create us with His hands with tenderness, and breathe life into us from Himself… when the rest of creation took the effort of mere words… Why do we then not walk this world as if we are the dearly loved and purposeful miracles that we are? Why is it in our hearts to think less of ourselves than was intended? Less than what God, our Maker, says we are?

Who took our Power?

My heart broke the other day after my beautiful 3 year old girl watched a princess movie, she walked away from it saying “Oh I wish I was as beautiful as she was… maybe if I had hair like her, or a dress like her I could be beautiful too.”

To think that at 3 years old she could think she was somehow less than she needed to be! How could she believe this worldly lie so young? How could that lie have already penetrated her heart and left her feeling less like the princess God made her to be?

Who stole her Power?

Peter asked to get out of the boat and walk on water with Jesus. And he did. For all of a few seconds that man walked on water with the King of Kings! Then he began to sink… the Power to walk on water left him.

Who stole his power?

Doubt. Fear. Insecurity.

… tools of the enemy of our soul to steal our Power without a fight.

What could we do if we didn’t allow it? What could we change in this world if we said NO MORE to doubt, to fear, to insecurity? What if we just woke up and said “Doubt you have no real power over me. If I fail miserably, I will stand and walk again! Get behind me.”

What if we took our Power back?

Here is the truth! We have that Power. To overcome.  To be bigger than we thought possible.  To dream and achieve.  To purpose to do something and do it. Nothing can stand against us when we use the God given Power that is ours by promise!

I’ll tell you who stole my Power. My own fears and insecurities of looking the fool, of having the faith to step out to do something and falling flat on my face! That’s where my power has been stolen.

I refuse to let it be stolen any more. It begins with seeing myself through real eyes… not the lies of my own eyes, or the eyes of those around me. It begins with knowing how the God of this universe sees me. The Maker that fashioned me, how does He see me? What does His word say about me? His Word Says:

“How beautiful you are, my darling! Oh how beautiful!” Song of Songs 4:1

“…No weapon forged against you will prevail, and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and this is their vindication from me,’ declares the LORD.” Isaiah 54:17

“…for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith.” 1 John 5:4

We have the real Power in this world, because we have the Holy Spirit in us. Let us not let the enemy-of-our-soul use the tools of doubt, fear, and insecurity to effortlessly steal our Power. Lets walk this world as the beautiful redeemed creatures that we are.

Photo Credit: Adam Graham

In the past when I thought of the word division or divisive it rubbed me wrong. There is a certain harshness to the thought that people, once united, would decide to divide or head separate ways. I don’t picture a clean break, but one that leaves jagged edges and hard hearts.

Recently, there have been “separations” or “divisions” in my life and my idea of Division is changing.

One definition of division according to Merriam Webster is;

something that divides, separates, or marks off.

That doesn’t sound so painful, does it? In the book of Acts, Barnabas and Paul have a disagreement over taking a young man named Mark John on a journey. Paul is set against it because in an earlier journey, for reasons unknown, Mark John left them and went back home. Barnabas wants to give him another chance and Paul is determined that this is not a good idea.

They divide.

The result? Multiplication.

There were two missionary journey’s instead of one with more people hearing about the life and message of Jesus.

The question? Are there times, where God allows- even causes division?

Here is what I know:

God is purposeful about bringing people together. He does his work in and through us so that we are refined into the people he desires us to be. If I believe that he is in control over this aspect (and I do) then I would also have to believe he is in control over circumstances where there is a division.

Am I saying that all division is right?  No.  Some division is very wrong and hurts the heart of God.

Am I saying that division is pain free? No. Even if division is the right course of action, there will still be pain within the process.

Maybe today you need to realize, like I did, that sometimes with division there is multiplication. Like Merriam Webster pointed out to me, when you divide plants you do it so that more will take root and grow.

Has there been division in your own life that has resulted in more fruit or a bigger vision? Has God used division to teach you something about yourself or those around you? Maybe you have been greatly wounded by division – the Healer wants to heal you today, will you ask him to?

We went to the beach in October. Fishing is really good then. *BIG smile* Jim went to the pier to investigate what kind of fish were biting and the bait that was working.

Pompano were running and the bait of choice is a sand flea. Florida pompano are said to bring the highest price per pound of any fish in the United States.  This is important information if you are to understand the intensity to which we “hunted so we could fish” when Jim returned from the pier.

Hope is a powerful affection. Hope is inescapable.

If I’m sick, I hope to get well.

If I’m hungry, I hope for food.

In a natural disaster, I hope for restoration for the suffering people and their families.

Mankind is never without an intense hope for something.

Hope makes our life rich and without it we die.

But, have you ever thought about how ‘complete hope‘ is never totally satisfied?  Hope is a desire that cannot be so satisfied as to leave one never wanting it again.

When I’m tired, I want rest. I rest, work again and I’m tired again, hoping for rest.

When I have a project to work on, I enjoy it and hope for its completion only to hope for a new project afterwards.

Hope is good, but never completely fulfilled. In the Garden, Adam and Eve were brought into perfect union with the Father, Son and Spirit. Adam and Eve experienced perfectly fulfilled hope in their life with the Trinity. They did not thirst for anything. That changed when they ate the forbidden fruit. Sin entered and gave birth to an unquenchable thirst for life where hope is fulfilled. Thankfully God was not taken by surprise when they sinned.

The never ending cycle of unfulfilled hope.
All my life I’ve heard that Jesus is my hope and I thought about it regarding salvation and for sure he is my only hope for salvation but what are the details of that salvation and his sacrifice? Think about the never ending cycle of unfulfilled hope in your life, add every human being who has ever lived or ever will live and add their hopelessness to it and put it all together in one big pile. That is what Jesus experienced on the cross for you and me. He took upon himself the eternal greediness of hope deferred that rested upon sinful man. One day of hopelessness buries me. I can’t imagine the suffering he endured for my sake, so I can have hope, real life, in the Trinity. I’ve always thought of the cross in light of my sinful state being placed upon Jesus. One of the particulars of his sacrifice is that he took upon himself my unquenchable hope for life and made it possible for me to have life in him now and for all eternity.

What are your greatest longings?
Think about your greatest longing, the things you hope for most in the world and imagine for a moment the depth of the pain or joy you want satisfied. Now imagine that you feel that for eternity; the desire constantly and the experience of not having it continuously. Jesus took this upon himself for our sake.

My heart wells up with compassion for Jesus when I look at his sacrifice from this angle, but HIStory doesn’t end with the sacrifice. He was resurrected from the dead. A crescendo in music is a gradual increase in loudness, or the moment when a noise or piece of music is at its loudest, an increase in excitement, danger or action. The resurrection is the nanosecond right after the crescendo. As if all creation took a deep breath wondering, hoping, dreading until……..

…he resurrected. Then there was one gigantic, prolonged, and lingering sigh of satisfaction like the ending of a symphony well played. He purchased fulfilled hope for us and his resurrection proves the arrangement was sealed. Feasting upon him, his beauty, his glory, and his sacrifice can satisfy this intense desire, my longing for the Garden and one day it will be realized when I am face to face with him.

Do you hope for a particular house?

He’s building you a mansion.

Do you hope for a gorgeous vacation?

He bought you the most fantastic rest imaginable.

Do you hope for a better income?

All the riches of heaven belong to those who are in Christ Jesus.

What do you hope for?

Have you thought of hope in this way?

How does this change your love for Jesus?

How does it change the way you live?

Living Outside the Lines…

…offers thanksgiving to the One who bore eternal hopelessness…

…in order to give us life

Photo Credit:  Expedition: Blue Planet

Photo Credit: Abigail Polley

People leave “marks” in our lives.  This poem touched my heart as I reflected upon the special people I’ve been blessed to know, learn from, grow from.  Those who in big ways and in small ways have left me forever changed.  May these words mark your heart like they did mine.

Because of people like you… 

My circle of friends is broader, my faith is deeper,
my life is richer, and my journey of joy in life
continues to unfold before me.

I have witnessed sincerity, generosity,
and patience.
I have learned truth, grace, and perseverance.
I have been shown humility, gratitude, and love.
I now know the glory of
a much greater power—God in my heart.
I have purpose, fulfillment, and peace.
I have choices, family, and security.

Because of people like you…
I am blessed.
I see.
I believe.
I am taught.
I am grateful.

Thank you for loving me when I can’t love myself.
Thank you for teaching me even though
I am not always a good student.
Thank you for showing me even when my mind is closed.
Thank you for instilling in me the values of
a better life even when I resist.
Thank you for saving my life.
Thank you for being a reminder of
what is right when I want to do wrong.
Thank you for the gift of being the person you are.

I am forever changed.
Because of people like you…

- Kate Kriha -

Not long ago, (or so it seems) I entered into a season so dark and lonely, I did not think my soul would survive it.

A betrayal so deep – that at the time, I felt my heart could never overcome it. I cried out to God in deep anguish, and sleep never came to me.

I could not eat

I could not rest my mind.

I was full of anger and, bitterness and fear…

…for an entire year, I was in a deep state of grief like none I had ever known.

It was during this season of grief that I found a truth so beyond the truth of this world. I found a strength within myself that I never knew existed. It was not my own. It was true strength that only God can give us.

I was always a self professed ‘strong woman’.

But it took this long dark year in order for God to transform me into a ‘woman of strength’.

In this time of transforming, I learned the difference.

A woman of strength relies on her Lord for all her needs. A strong woman relies on herself, or the tangibles of this world.

A woman of strength runs to the protecting wings of Gods tender mercies, and there she is refreshed. A strong woman runs to worldly comforts and comes back empty and alone.

A woman of strength will never feel alone. She will endure every trial set before her with her grace and poise intact, because she trusts in God and not her circumstances. She does not need to ‘feel’ His presence to know He is near. She believes in His presence regardless of her ‘feelings’.

A woman of strength is created by a loving God, through her trials tended with hours of solitude spent in His presence. A strong woman is created by this world…through her trials and moments of chaos, spent alone in her own spinning thoughts.

I am not the woman who began this journey.  no.

…I am a new creation.

I was broken by the trials of this world. But when I brought my heart before my loving Saviour, I was transformed into something beautiful. I now look back at that dark season and am thankful. It birthed a refreshing into my soul…and created within me a deeper faith and unshakeable trust.

If you are in the dark hours of your life today, allow yourself to be a woman of strength. Put the ‘strong woman’ aside and run to the loving arms of God. Allow Him to hold you, heal you, transform you.

Beside my cottage door it grows,
The loveliest, daintiest flower that blows,
A sweetbriar rose.

At dewy morn or twilight’s close,
The rarest perfume from it flows,
This strange wild rose.

But when the rain-drops on it beat,
Ah, then, its odors grow more sweet,
About my feet.

Ofttimes with loving tenderness,
Its soft green leaves I gently press,
In sweet caress.

A still more wondrous fragrance flows
The more my fingers close
And crush the rose.

Dear Lord, oh, let my life be so
Its perfume when tempests blow,
The sweeter flow.

And should it be Thy blessed will,
With crushing grief my soul to fill,
Press harder still.

And while its dying fragrance flows
I’ll whisper low, “He loves and knows
His crushed briar rose.”

-F. W. Robertson

Photo Courtesy of D.Reichardt

For years, I thought everyone else needed to change.  I can remember back in 2002 reading Dr. Phil McGraw’s book, Relationship Rescue.  I needed a relationship rescue in a serious way at the time so the book came in handy.  That was the first time it sunk in for me that I NEEDED to change.  Blaming someone else wasn’t the answer and I was not a victim.

I was still in my 20’s, very late 20’s, just had my second child and thought ok, let me work on this.  I CHANGE.  I read that I needed to change my reaction to get a different response.  SO, that I did!  It WORKED!  The relationship I was focused on changing, was changing because I was changing, it was good!!

BUT, it was short lived and it didn’t last long.  Eventually I went back to my old behaviors and experienced the same old responses to my same old reactions.  BUMMER!!

I STILL believe the LAW OF CHANGE:

Nobody can change YOU (why? Because your brain ONLY listens to YOU)

YOU canNOT change others (why? Because they only listen to themselves)

YOU can ONLY change yourself (why?  Because YOU only listen to YOU)

As YOU change, those around you change as a reaction to all of the changes in YOU!

THAT is where I am today, in my late 30’s – it took me just shy of 10 years to get this change thing down AND I’m STILL working on it!  The difference today, than where I was when it first hit me, is I AM INTENTIONAL about MY CHANGE.

I’m focused on where I want to BE.   Where I’m headed.  The Goal.  I’ve experienced growth in MANY areas of my life discovering what I want. need. think. feel.  FINALLY!!  The only way to get to the goal is for me to CHANGE.  The “drive-thru” mentality that many people have, even me at times, doesn’t work with change.  It’s a process, it takes time and to sustain the changes, I need to be intentional about it by equipping myself.

Some people FEAR change and believe that it is bad, not me, I’m all about change!  Bring it on.  Where are you at with change?  Is it something you fear?  Something you think others need to do?  OR Is it for you?  If so, how will you sustain it?  How can you be intentional to get to where you’re going?