This past weekend, I had the privilege of being invited to a ‘pickle party’ as my daughter would say. For many years now, a number of family friends gather at my godmother’s cabin once a summer to can pickles. These aren’t just any pickles, these are Marian’s pickles. I’m telling you, Marian (my godmother) has the most amazing pickle recipe. Word gets out about these pickles, and I find myself hiding them in my laundry room cabinet! The newly canned jars are carefully rationed once the pickling process is complete. Everyone has their favorite, mine are the baby dills. I could honestly sit down and finish a jar all on my own!
Not only is this both an art and a science, (it is really a complicated process!) it is a great time to catch up with old friends. My ‘station’ is by the sink and stove, with one of my most respected friends, ‘Sus’. She is really like family. Because life is busy, we don’t get to see each other or even talk all that frequently. But when we do, I so appreciate her. Her example. Her heart. One of the many reasons I look forward to this weekend.
In recapping my Pickle Party, I realized there are some important lessons learned. Not only for pickling, but for life in general:
- Pay attention to detail. To process. To your team members. (Those jars won’t seal and your pickles will ‘sour’ if each step isn’t followed correctly! Isn’t that also true with certain real life situations?)
- Collaborate. It is a team effort, and each person has a valued role.
- Listen. To not only direction, but to each other!
- Teach. Take time to teach each other a craft, trade or simply life lesson learned. Pass on something to the next generation!
- Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously!
- A little sweat labor yields a priceless product.
- Enjoy the fruits of your labor.
- Take time to start and keep a meaningful tradition.
- Make reconnecting with your family / friends a priority.
and lastly…..
DON’T HIDE THE GOOD PICKLES IN THE LAUNDRY CABINET. ENJOY THEM!
Pretty good life advise, don’t you think? …….thanks for the great pickle party Marian!
I had the opportunity to spend the day watching my boys participate in their all school track and field day. Of course, if you know me, a few days prior I was worried that it would be really hot and that I would have to figure out how to stay cool with out getting “funky” tan lines, BUT to my pleasant surprise, it was cool, overcast, and dry – a PERFECT day for this special event.
Each class of students from kindergarten through 8th grade wore their class colored t-shirt. Zane’s was orange and Zachary’s just happened to be PINK. Yes, pink, not a light pink, but a BRIGHT fuschia-pink. Believe me, I had a slight battle at home this morning getting my little athlete to put this t-shirt over his head, but eventually he did. Pink is NOT a color that exists in my boys’ closets and after today I’m pretty sure we will be donating that cute little ‘t’ to one of my friends daughters OR the good will.
There must’ve been a couple hundred people at the track; students, teachers, other school staff members, parents, and grandparents. Everyone was there to cheer each other on, volunteer, encourage, and support all the participants. The kids had so much fun and worked really hard at each event – giving it their all!
When the time came at the end of the day to tally up all the scores, times, distances and determine who took 1st, 2nd, and 3rd place in each event, my mind instantly went to the “underdog.” I’ve always had a soft spot in my heart for kids who get left out, who aren’t as “popular”, or get teased. This kind of reminds me of when I was younger in gym class – when the gym teacher elected 2 captains and had the captains pick the kids THEY wanted on their team. Do you know what I’m talking about, do you remember? Frequently, I was one of the last ones picked so this is a vivid memory for me. I’m over it now, but it has definitely left a tender place in my spirit for others that get picked last or don’t “win.”
At the award ceremony everyone received a purple participation ribbon. The smiles glowed on the faces of those who were called up individually to receive either a blue 1st place, red 2nd place, or white 3rd place ribbon – they were so proud of their accomplishment. The older kids seemed to be more competitive, paying close attention to who got what and how many.
The last and final ribbon was YELLOW it was the Good Sportsmanship Ribbon and only 2 were given for each grade, one to a girl and one to a boy. I was sitting at the table with the 4th grade boys; there are only 6 boys in my sons class, so imagine the competitiveness. All were anxiously awaiting to hear which 1 of the 6 would get the ONLY yellow ribbon. The teacher called up the boy who she felt earned this award and spoke briefly as to why he was chosen. A few of the words she used to describe him were: positive attitude, encouraging, helpful, joyful.
Zachary’s classmate was proud to be awarded that special ribbon along with his purple participation ribbon. As he walked back to the table and took his seat, another classmate said something that impressed me, his name is Ryan. He looked up from his pile of Red, White, and Blue’s and said to me, “The yellow ribbon is really the most important ribbon – it really is.” I smiled and shook my head, I agreed.
As I drove away from that fun filled day, I got to thinking about life – I know, I seem to be doing a lot of DEEP REFLECTION lately. But I couldn’t help to think about what Ryan said. He’s right – it’s about attitude, being positive, encouraging others, helping, and having joy – REGARDLESS if you WIN or LOSE!! In this “rat race” of life, keeping our sights focused on earning the yellow ribbon is truly what matters…….it’s MOST important.
Daily KIP: Reflect over the past 48 hours. What portion of your words spoken were uplifting, encouraging, and positive? What portion of your words were gossip, negative, and destructive? Pay attention to your words today. Look for opportunities to encourage and lift others up. Hold your tongue when you are upset or tempted to gossip. “Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.” ~Pearl Strachan
Last week, I had the opportunity to road trip it to Kansas City with my husband, he had a business meeting on Monday so I tagged along. I love traveling with him especially when we drive. We have the best conversations, I read books out loud to him, and of course I sing OUT LOUD to all my favorite downloaded songs at the top of my lungs. I think he likes it, it really do.
We arrived on Sunday, checked into the our hotel on the plaza, walked to Bo Lings, a popular local chinese restaurant, stuffed our faces, then stopped at Chaz on our way back, had coffee and a YUMMY chocolate peanut butter dessert and listened to a band play some cool tunes.
When I woke up on Monday, I had a free day to do what I wanted to do – YIPEE!! I was determined to get outside and go for a run because the day was so beautiful. As I was getting ready I realized that I had lost my ipod holder, the one that goes on my arm when I run, AND I didn’t have a jacket with pockets to hold my room key, a little cash and my cell phone just in case of an emergency. So, I laced up my shoes and set out headed towards the plaza and about 2 hours later after going to several stores, I was FINALLY ready to run. I got a dorky little fanny pack for my “stuff” and a case for my ipod. As I started to run I thought to myself, “Had I just kept it simple, I would’ve been done by now and enjoying the day.”……oh well, off I went.
Jammin’ to my music I couldn’t help but notice the homeless people I passed by………one man under the bridge, the second man sitting on the bench who returned a smile, the third man sleeping on the bench snoring, and the fourth man flying a kite. From a far, I thought he was holding a fishing pole but as I got closer I realized he was looking up. Sure enough, up in the sky I saw his red, white, and blue kite. It was a great day for flying a kite, just the right conditions.
Something inside of me prompted me to stop and talk to this man. Partially because I wanted a break from my run, I was huffing and puffing, and partially because I was taken back to a “simple place” when I saw him flying the kite. The simplicity of life when I was a child, the memories of me flying a kite. Carefree. Adventurous. Free time. This homeless man had a smile on his face and a name, it was Greg. We had a really nice talk. What a joyful man; for someone who had nothing, he sure seemed full! He inspired me.
He let me fly his kite. As I was managing the kite he shared with my that this was his second kite. His last kite ended up in the tree which he pointed out to me, it was still there. He had to save his money to get this new one. He loved the tail of his new kite. I never got a close up look at the tail, but he assured me that he tied everything he owned (like socks, pieces of cloth, etc.) on the tail because he liked to watch it wave in the wind. We must’ve chatted for about 20 minutes and before I put my ear buds back into my ears I thanked him for letting me fly his kite. He in turn thanked me for taking the time to stop and talk with him, he said, “It’s not often when people stop to talk to me.”
One week later, I’m still thinking about Greg and his kite. I’m reminded to keep it simple. Embrace the little things in life that can create memories and bring joy. I’m encouraged to just go for “the run” and not worry about the music, the fanny pack and all the stuff. I’m encouraged to start eliminating distractions and pay attention to opportunities to just take a few minutes and talk to someone like Greg. He appreciated me on Monday, and I appreciated him – I think my kids will appreciate him too when we are flying a kite for the first time this spring……..I’m going to share with them how I was inspired by Greg.
Being a mom is, I believe, one of the most important jobs I will ever have. It is a gift I have been given, and I take it very seriously. This week in particular, I felt very conflicted with balancing work and home. Maybe it was because it was the first week back to work after the holiday. It was a bit of a letdown, simply knowing that the fun and games were over and I had to put on my nursing hat so to speak. I felt a longing to simply be a mom, and would have been satisfied to put that nursing cap on the shelf to collect dust.
These feelings got me thinking about this role of being a mom. I began comparing my own parenting to that of MY mother, and how it differs. I consider myself very fortunate to have grown up in the family I did, and to have the parents I do. Consistency, calm, Christian influence. My dad walked in the door at 5:10 or so every night. Home made meals on the table at 5:30 every night. A home made sweet treat after dinner every night. The house was always picked up, laundry always done. Life was predictable. I had 2 sisters, both older than I, and we all respected my parents. I know I am the youngest, so my memory may be a little different than that of my sisters, but I don’t remember my parents ever having to yell to get our attention. For me, it was more of a fear of disappointing them that made me want to do good. (Not sayin’ that I didn’t do my fair share of stupid things growing up!) I don’t ever remember sensing anger or impatience between my parents. Life was simple. Or at least that is how I remember it.
Fast forward several decades (gulp)and here I am, blessed to be raising my own children. Boy, I am afraid to say the the environment in which I remember growing up is very different than the environment my children are being raised. To start, I work. I have the privilege of working part time and feel very blessed for that opportunity, but…. I work. I feel like if I’m not on call, I’m going into the clinic, or thinking about an outstanding subpoena, or a child that touched my heart in a profound way. It is always there. How much does that take away from my ability to be a good mom? Are there ways that makes me a better mom?
I think another big difference is our children’s schedules. I grew up on a farm in a rural town in MN. I have to say there weren’t too many opportunities for extracurricular events until the junior high years. It wasn’t until then, that we would begin or choose a sport- and there were only a few to choose from. Practices were predictable, after school, and we would always be home by dinner-time.
My son Owen decided to play hockey this year. I’ve been told that 6 years old is a year or two late to begin skating. Really? Along with this commitment are 1 to 2 practices a week, and 1 game per week. Not really all that bad. Then you factor in our 4 year old daughter Gracie and her 1 practice a week for gymnastics. Add the weekly church, school, typical play dates, and preschool car pools… it all adds up. And with that, takes away time from home where I could be cooking, cleaning or creating consistency and calm. On the other hand, it provides exposure to a team sport, helps build confidence and cooperation among team members and provides excellent physical activity.
So what gives? I know that schedules will only get busier. I mentioned I have 2 older siblings with older children, so know what is ahead for us. I just struggle at the difference in how I was raised. I can’t expect life to be the same for my children as it was for me 38 years ago. It is a different time, and we live in a different demographic. I may not have the opportunity to have dinner on the table every night at 5:30. BUT there are things I can and DO do.
Creating memories with our children. Having popcorn parties on our family room floor. Watching movies. Playing board games. Creating family traditions. Being silly.
I can still provide consistency, but in a different way. Consistency in parenting, in providing a safe haven, in creating predictability.
Calm, yet different than what I knew. Calm in my responses to various situations. Calm created by preparing for the day, for the unexpected. Calm in my marriage. These things are all a work in progress.
Christian influence- I pray I provide this by being an example in my daily walk. By being in the Word. By making church a priority. By praying as a family. By reading devotions with our children. By living our lives as an example. I think THAT is the biggest challenge of all. Thank you to my husband who continues to hold me accountable in these areas as they too, are a work in progress. I love you!
So, for me, being a mom is a title I’m honored to have been given. My job is to help mold 2 tiny persons into a godly man and woman with the help of a lot of other wonderful people, most importantly their father. I just pray each and every day that I am equipped with the skills needed to do my very best at this incredibly important job. I can’t expect things to be the same as when I grew up. In fact, there are many positive things my children have been afforded that back in the day, were not available. I need to stop comparing, and appreciate each day for what it is. Finally, I pray for peace and balance in my heart when juggling my various roles becomes a struggle.
This topic has come up a lot lately in my conversations with friends and interactions with others. I’ve been hit over the head with it in a VERY real way and am sad to say that over the past 4 years – YES, you heard it 4 YEARS I’ve been really bad at giving others around me undivided attention.
I am not one to blame things on others or things or situations – I can only look in the mirror and ask the question, what role am I playing in this “situation” or what did I do to “set this in motion”?
I realized that I got a Blackberry!! aka. Crackberry, right? I can pinpoint the time when my “undivided attention” started to become divided. This wonderful piece of technology was FUN, it kept me connected, in the loop – I didn’t need to be tied to my computer to check an email, it came oh so conveniently into the palm of my hand. I literally fell in LOVE with IT!! THEN I learned how to text – oh boy! As I discovered all the wonderful features of my new BFF I discovered PINing and Instant Messaging too – I was hooked, addicted BUT, OH SOOOOO disrespectful to everyone who was “present” in my world.
I’ve been confronted by people who have shared with me the reality of who I was becoming……..It was difficult to hear at the time because my intent was never to cause anyone any pain or disrespect. Why was I doing what I was doing? Was the noise that my phone was making to alert me that there was a NEW message THAT important that I needed to constantly be checking it? Seriously, who did I think I was? What was so pressing that I had to divert my time and attention from whomever I was with to check in with my piece of technology? SERIOUSLY?!?!? Turn it off, Leave it behind – actually throw it in the ocean or something!!
The past 7 months I’ve been working on this and I feel that I’ve made GREAT improvements. I have set boundaries now with my BFF and it feels good, although sometimes I break ‘em, UGH! I’m sad that I’ve sent the message to others through this senseless behavior that they are not important and I’m striving to repair that with my actions.
I am truly grateful for those who have been honest with me to point this out. It’s a catch 22 however. Thank you, Thank you, Thank you on one hand THEN I’m sorry, sorry, sorry on the other for hurting your feelings.
What prompted me to write this today is this morning I was having coffee with a dear friend of mine and we were talking about how computers, cell phones, texting, iphones – and any other device you want to name – were stealing precious time from those that we love. For me, its been my Blackberry. And after our talk this morning I got to thinking about some other things that are creeping into my world……….what is it for you? What in your world “divides” your attention from the people and things that are really important?
