Its been several weeks since this happened. Every time I think about it, it brings a smile to my face. I’ve been wanting to write about it, I JUST haven’t taken the time………today I FINALLY am.
Thursday, June 4th I was exhausted. My back had been out for a couple of weeks, I was slowly on the mend, but things were not being accomplished because I just was NOT feeling up to it. The boys were NOW out of school – so the transition from “my” time during the day had begun. I needed to adjust to sharing the treasured hours during the day, where I could accomplish things with out distractions, with worrying about the boys being bored, having something fun to do, breaking up the “brotherly love” fighting, and taxi mom to play dates, day camps, and sports activities. UFDAH – it was JUST the first day of summer!!
My todo list was VERY long – we were in the process of getting our home ready to put on the market. It’s amazing to me how much work needs to be done to get the house ready for others to see it. The punch list from the realtor was 3 pages long! I had to call in the troops to assist me with my mini-extreme makeover home addition project. I had THAT day ONLY before I was headed out of town to meet a friend who I hadn’t seen in 1 year, so I needed to make the best of it.
I woke up that morning, still NOT feeling well, and begun visualizing my day. It didn’t look pretty. Here were my racing thoughts: My husband was out of town (hhhmmmm, how convenient?!?!?) so he wasn’t available to help. Every closet and cupboard had to be de-cluttered and organized. The movers were coming to rearrange and remove furniture to put into storage. The handyman was coming to fix things, paint, drill, hang, etc. Tina, the home “stager” was coming to suggest and give pointers on how to make the home SHINE for showings. Kelly, my cleaning lady was coming to help with cleaning, wash windows, and sorting things into piles: Keep. Toss. Good Will. It was going to BE Grand Central Station. Then I thought………I sure do love my little nuggets dearly, but I knew that the day would be stressful with them being home. I had forgotten about THEM being home, school was OUT!! oops!
Then I got the phone call. My friend Tricia called. She asked if she could pick up the boys and take them for the afternoon. WOW, REALLY?!?! Apparently I had mentioned to her previously about this day and she knew the boys would be out of school. So, she offered to take them for the day. I felt a little guilty at first, you know, the “SUPER mom guilt” which causes you to respond to an offer like that this way, “Oh, NO, that’s ok, I can manage.” The LIE that just so easily flows out of our mouths – we say NO when we REALLY REALLY mean YES – HELP ME!! SOS!! Ok, so that’s what I did initially UNTIL she insisted and wouldn’t take NO for an answer. She picked up the boys around 11:00am – took them to her home, fed them, played with them, let them run around and have a BLAST at her home on her land out in the country. I was able to tackle my punch list with OUT any distractions. She was a BLESSING to me that day, and I STILL appreciate it so very much!
What’s more is that in addition to the FREE gift she blessed me with by watching my boys, a couple of days later she emailed me these special gifts.
WOW! PRICELESS pictures of my boys! I hadn’t taken the time in years to have professional photos taken of the boys and she captured them so beautifully!
Thank you Tricia for blessing me that day and Thank you for keeping it personal, for taking action with the lingering thought that passed through your mind to help me. I appreciate you and our friendship. I hope to sometime return the blessing to you!! :-)
Ps. If you’re looking for a GREAT photographer check out her work on her website by clicking here.
Daily KIP: “At the end of the day, can you look at yourself and say that you did everything you could to be your best?” Paraphrased from Apollo Ohno. What ever it is that you find yourself doing, be it a parent, spouse, sibling, employee, friend, colleague, boss… do it the best way you know how. It is a demonstration of good character.
Daily KIP: Are you selfish? REALLY think about this question; Are you selfish? Many of us GIVE so much everyday to our families, friends, work, and others – BUT why do we do it? Is it about truly giving? or is it about YOU?
Daily KIP: What are your EXPECTATIONS of others in your life? Think about the different areas: spouse, friendships, parenting, work, etc. ~ Are they realistic? If they are, and they are not being met, what changes can you make within yourself to get different results?
What is a dry well? Simply put its a well that is dry, one that doesn’t produce any water. A dry well would be one that no one returns to to quench their thirst and in most cases it would be capped of, abandoned and forgotten. BUT they are most often always still there.
Getting water from a well is NOT an easy task, it a takes a lot of work. I’m not talking about the modern day technology that’s used by cities which connect wells to the city water system that we get to our faucets, not that kind of well. I’m talking about the old wells. You know, the one where the bucket is hanging there – you have to manually turn the crank down to the bottom, scoop up the water in the bucket and then crank the bucket up…….that’s the kind of well that I have in my mind. That’s A LOT of work to get one bucket of water!!
IF you were to make the effort to go to the well, the old fashioned kind – put the bucket on the hook, crank it ALL the way down to the bottom and then crank it back up ONLY to find it empty, would your need be met? Would you be able to quench your thirst? or use the water to wash your clothes? bathe yourself or your child? NO!! You would walk away potentially feeling sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.
Knowing that the well was dried up, would you go back to get more water? Maybe, right? Maybe it just happened to be dry that day, maybe tomorrow would be different, maybe because it rained or something like that, there would be water. So, the next day you go to the SAME well, drop the SAME bucket ONLY to find that – OH MY the well IS still dry! Shoot, once again your needs are not met and you walk away with the same feelings you had the day before…….sad, defeated, lonely, frustrated, thirsty, dirty, afraid.
This could go on for days – hoping to get different results. Until finally the decision is made to accept the reality that the well is dry, it will no longer meet the needs that it once did. You let it go. You find another well to meet your needs. BUT it’s VERY difficult and it can take a lot of time!!
Over the past couple of years I’ve asked myself why in the world am I continually drawn to “dry wells”? NOW I’m talking about people and relationships. I make the connection between the two because some of the relationships that I’ve had OR have are like dry wells……….they do not quench my thirst. I continue to go to the people/relationship thinking the next time will be different, but it’s not. I leave sad, defeated, some times insecure, judged, frustrated, empty.
I’ve come to the realization that we indeed are creatures of habit AND change is NOT easy!! What have I done? I’ve taken the path of least resistance in some cases and continue to get the same results. YUK – that’s painful!!
Yesterday my friend shared with me this analogy. She said, “Sometimes we have to set aside or walk away from the unhealthy to make room in our lives for God to bring healthy.”
Oooooohhhhh! We liked this, but we both decided that it’s a very difficult task! It’s true, but hard because we want so bad for the “well” aka. relationship/person NOT to be dry! Plus, it’s easy to just NOT work on de-cluttering and be status quo, even though it’s unhealthy and painful. DOUBLE PLUS, if we let go of that, even though it’s unhealthy – WHAT do we replace it with in the meantime? Do we trust God to bring us healthy?
The one thing to keep in mind is like a dried up well, they are most often ALWAYS still there. As we make the decision to accept, set aside the unhealthy to make room for the healthy – it doesn’t mean we need to destroy or eliminate – we just don’t need to go there anymore. We need to set boundaries and make room for God to bring us healthy.
How many dry wells are you going to?
