This past weekend, I had the privilege of being invited to a ‘pickle party’ as my daughter would say. For many years now, a number of family friends gather at my godmother’s cabin once a summer to can pickles. These aren’t just any pickles, these are Marian’s pickles. I’m telling you, Marian (my godmother) has the most amazing pickle recipe. Word gets out about these pickles, and I find myself hiding them in my laundry room cabinet! The newly canned jars are carefully rationed once the pickling process is complete. Everyone has their favorite, mine are the baby dills. I could honestly sit down and finish a jar all on my own!
Not only is this both an art and a science, (it is really a complicated process!) it is a great time to catch up with old friends. My ‘station’ is by the sink and stove, with one of my most respected friends, ‘Sus’. She is really like family. Because life is busy, we don’t get to see each other or even talk all that frequently. But when we do, I so appreciate her. Her example. Her heart. One of the many reasons I look forward to this weekend.
In recapping my Pickle Party, I realized there are some important lessons learned. Not only for pickling, but for life in general:
- Pay attention to detail. To process. To your team members. (Those jars won’t seal and your pickles will ‘sour’ if each step isn’t followed correctly! Isn’t that also true with certain real life situations?)
- Collaborate. It is a team effort, and each person has a valued role.
- Listen. To not only direction, but to each other!
- Teach. Take time to teach each other a craft, trade or simply life lesson learned. Pass on something to the next generation!
- Laugh. Don’t take yourself too seriously!
- A little sweat labor yields a priceless product.
- Enjoy the fruits of your labor.
- Take time to start and keep a meaningful tradition.
- Make reconnecting with your family / friends a priority.
and lastly…..
DON’T HIDE THE GOOD PICKLES IN THE LAUNDRY CABINET. ENJOY THEM!
Pretty good life advise, don’t you think? …….thanks for the great pickle party Marian!
Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh, oh oh oh… Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh.
Last week, our family piled into our car, and headed west. 10 hours west to be exact. We toured South Dakota for the next 5 days before we turned around and headed back the same 10 hour stretch as our trip began.
One of the traditions my husband started when we backed out of our driveway was to play the song, “Holiday Road” every time we got in the car. (You know, the theme song from National Lampoon’s Vacation?) The reaction from Gracie was joyful. She began singing along the minute it started. “Turn it up” she would scream with delight. Owen on the other hand, got a little grumpy. Like he was ‘too cool’ to participate in our silly family fun. I would sneak a look in his direction, and see him trying desperately hard NOT to smile. Before long we would all be laughing and singing along… “Holiday Road, oh oh oh, oh oh oh, Holiday Road oh oh oh, oh oh oh!”
We had the most amazing time exploring, sight seeing, appreciating the God given beauty of the Bad Lands and Black Hills. I knew it was going to be pretty. Just didn’t realize how pretty. Breath taking, really. There were several times during this trip when I sat back, consumed with gratitude. Gratitude for my family, for this opportunity to spend time with them. And to share appreciation for each other and the beauty around us.
As you can imagine, a road trip like this can also lend itself to some irritability as we were in each others’ hair, literally 24/7. At times I felt like we were playing a part in a National Lampoon movie. (Please don’t speculate which character I was playing!) Tempers flared, patience grew thin. But somehow we would rally. These moments were usually short lived, and we would soon be back to singing, “Holiday Road….”
So here’s to all of you taking Griswold family vacations this summer! And for those of you considering… just do it! You won’t regret the memories you will make with your family. All of them. The good, the bad and the ugly!
Please share with us your summer vacation memories, and silly traditions!
Today’s Daily KIP REALLY got my mind racing about areas in my life where I rationalize. One way that I would describe rationalizing is excuses I make to justify WHY I’m making a decision or WHY I’ve done something that I had ALREADY decided and spoken that I was NOT going to do.
Let me share the most current situation that I’m struggling with……..VIDEO GAMES, yep – I’ve RATIONALIZED and I’m not happy about it.
When my boys were a few years younger, just starting to get into video game playing, the games they enjoyed were educational, some were rated E for everyone and a few were rated eC for early childhood. I felt these games were ’safe’ for their impressionable little minds. Games such as Mario Brothers, Dora the Explorer, NHL, NBA, NFL, and NASCAR speed racing, just to name a few, checked out OK with me.
I, personally, do NOT enjoy playing video games. I believe it is a waste of time. I don’t understand how most of the games work or how to operate the controllers. The bottom line IS, I’m just NOT into video games. As a child we had an ATARI where I attempted to play games like asteroids, frogger, donkey kong, pong, and pac-man. When the first Nintendo game came out, I DID get pretty good at Mario Bros. but that was the extent of my video game playing career. I have NO desire to pick it back up and master it by any means.
Because of my ignorance and extreme lack of interest I took the ‘lazy’ route and decided to base my video game buying, for the boys, on what the Entertainment Software Rating Board (ESRB) suggested. That was simple, NOT very smart, but simple. Here’s what I decided…….the boys could play E rated games until they reached 10, then they could play 10+ rated games until they became teenagers. At that time they could play T games. Then lastly, IF they were STILL into video games, by the time they were 18, they would be considered ‘mature adults’ able to make their own decisions and play the games they wanted to. That was my VERY naive decision, but I was going with it……………so I thought.
I remember the FIRST game that made its way into our home that was T rated, Tony Hawk. This is where the rationalization started. Honestly I don’t even know how it got into our home, it just appeared! A birthday gift? or something? My point is, I read the cover, my boys were getting bored with their current games, it was JUST skateboarding – RIGHT? With some blood – YUK! Come to find out, my boys ALREADY knew how to play the game!!! HOW? Because they played it other people’s homes. OH MY!
The door had opened to my U10 boys playing T games. The new obstacle for me now was saying NO to the MANY other requests to play other T games. Our conversation at Target in the video game isle would go like this:
Zachary: “Mom, can I get this game?”
Me (with a smile): “UM NO, that is rated T, please pick one that is rated E.”
Zachary: “Mom, all the E games are soooo boring, I have the ones that I like, can I PLEASE get this one? PLEASE, pretty PLEASE? It’s no big deal mom, I’ve played it before, it’s FUN! Plus you’ve already let me play Tony Hawk and THAT is rated T!”
Me (not smiling): “NO. AND really? You’ve played this one before too?”
Zachary: ”This is so cheap!! I never get what I want – It’s MY birthday money, I should be able to get the game I want!”
Me (frustrated): “Let’s go, we are leaving! No game!”
This ONLY lasted a few times until I ultimately RATIONALIZED and gave in. I would read the covers, consult with the “teen-aged” workers to get THEIR advice on whether THEY felt the game was appropriate for MY child and eventually I was purchasing T games. OUCH!
Here’s the kicker, it didn’t stop there – YES, I eventually broke down after NUMEROUS conversations like the one above and have NOW purchased 2 M rated video games. WHY? Because I was convinced by my child that the T games were NOW boring and the M games are no big deal, besides, they played them before with their cousins and with friends.
Enough said……this my dear readers IS RATIONALIZATION at it’s finest. I am NOT proud.
Understand this – MY conviction may NOT be your conviction. I am not sharing this story to pass judgment on any parent who has different views on video games for their children. I’m sharing my story to shed light on how easy rationalizing can make its way into our lives; inch by inch. I’m sharing this because I’ve seen rationalization become a common excuse for our behavior; with the excuses and rationalizations we can begin to buy the lies of this world that lead to destruction. Lastly, I wanted to share this to simply get you thinking……are there any areas in your life where you’ve rationalized or are starting to?
Fear, people pleasing, selfishness, comfort, laziness, unwanted judgement of others, and insecurity are what lead me to rationalize on the video games. I’m taking back the ground that was lost from rationalizing and making changes.
Child abuse or should I say the prevention of -is a passion of mine. Picture this. You are at the grocery store, target, mall- some public place… when a child is acting out. You can see the anxiety of that parent rising. They may lash out at their child who is misbehaving, and maybe even in a way that concerns you. If you have ever been in that situation, what was your response? Was it to stare, or maybe even give the ‘look?’ May I make a suggestion? Any of us who are parents should be able to relate to that situation. How many times have I been standing in line at Target when one of my kids throws a tantrum because I am NOT going to buy them that fancy container of liquid sugar in the check out isle? They put it there for a reason people! For parents who decide to give in to their tantruming kids just to get the onlookers off their backs! (I’m guilty!)
Think about what might have helped you in that situation. A smile? Laughter? Recognition from someone that they have ‘been there’? In some circumstances, when you may be really concerned about the escalation of that parent’s behavior, and maybe even concerned for the safety of that child, what would you do? One recommendation may be to offer a distraction to take that parent out of the heated situation. Kindly interrupt and ask for directions. Compliment them on their clothing, hairstyle, whatever…. ask if they have seen a product. You get the idea. Something completely unrelated to the event, but because you are creating that interruption, it is giving both child and parent time to cool down.
On the other hand, if you are witnessing a violent act against a child, you have the responsibility to alert authorities. Children count on ‘the village’, and if the village fails them when warning signs are there, what is left? Unfortunately we live in a world where there is stress beyond measure. Many of us are feeling the pressures of our finances. For others it might be health issues, or lack of insurance, or a loved one who is deployed. We all have our triggers. I just ask that you, as a concerned citizen, take the responsibility to be the eyes and ears for our children. It really does take a village.
www.preventchildabuse.org
What You Can Do: Reach Out PINWHEELS FOR PREVENTION ™ CAMPAIGN
Anything you do to support kids and parents can help reduce the stress that often leads to abuse and neglect.
Be a friend to a parent you know. Ask how their children are doing. Draw on your own experiences to provide reassurance and support. If a parent seems to be struggling, offer to baby-sit or run errands, or just lend a friendly ear. Show you understand.
Be a friend to a child you know. Remember their names. Smile when you talk with them. Ask them about their day at school. Send them a card in the mail. Show you care.
Talk to your neighbors about looking out for one another’s children. Encourage a supportive spirit among parents in your apartment building or on your block. Show that you are involved.
Give your used clothing, furniture and toys for use by another family. This can help relieve the stress of financial burdens that parents sometimes take out on their kids.
Volunteer your time and money for programs in your community that support children and families, like parent support groups or day care centers.
Daily KIP: Are you selfish? REALLY think about this question; Are you selfish? Many of us GIVE so much everyday to our families, friends, work, and others – BUT why do we do it? Is it about truly giving? or is it about YOU?
I was inspired by one man’s story as I watched Extreme Makeover Home Edition last night. Did you see it? The Terpenning Family was featured. Not sure of all the little details, but big brush stroke…….the father was born with Polio in the early 70‘s in Vietnam during the war (half American/half Vietnamese). He was adopted by an American family and has been in a wheelchair his whole life. He’s married and a father of 4. He’s a wheelchair sports champion and mentor to disabled Iraq War veterans……..an AMAZING soul this many has!
Anyway, it got me thinking about the limits we put on ourselves, our dreams, our passions, and ALSO the limits we allow others to put on us when it comes to living our passion or working towards fulfilling our dreams.
This man could’ve become a victim, blamed others, believed what others in the world had told him ~ that he wouldn’t ever accomplish much because he was never going to be able to get out of his wheel chair, clearly he was limited. But there was NO LIMIT to what he could accomplish – he’s a fighter, he had a vision to earn a gold metal in swimming and he did it! HE set his bar high and didn’t let anyone get in his way or lower it. He’s a mentor, he shares his story and his experiences to help others, he’s an AMAZING father who’s sending the message to his kids to literally “be all you can be” – in his mind, there is NO LIMIT to what you can accomplish in this life. I love it!!
I know that limitations need to be set in many areas of our lives. In our relationships, setting boundaries or limits for ourselves and others to maintain healthy relationships is huge. A couple of other quick examples are…… 1) Cell phone usage – going over the limit can be VERY costly, I’ve learned that one the hard way, OUCH!! 2) Watching TV and/or playing video games can at times be an issue IF limits are not set for kids AND adults. 3) Alcohol/Caffeine intake 4) Spending money. I could list many more areas where setting limits and boundaries are extremely important but I want to write about……….NO LIMITS!!
I often set limits in my mind when I dream about what I want to accomplish or be who I want to be. I’ve been faced with people who I call “dream shooters” and have learned that I need to take what they say with a grain of salt, consider it, but don’t let it hold me back. Are you surrounded by dream shooters? Unfortunately, they often are our closest family members and best friends.
There’s an amazing song by Kutless titled What Faith Can Do. I listen to it often…..if you haven’t heard, it check it out here on youtube.com – I love the lyrics, here are a few I want to share when it comes to NO LIMITS………
I’ve seen dreams that move the mountains . Hope that doesn’t ever end even when the sky is falling. And I’ve seen miracles just happen. Silent prayers get answered. Broken hearts become brand new , that’s what faith can do . It doesn’t matter what you’ve heard, impossible is not a word, it’s just a reason for someone not to try . Everybody’s scared to death ; when they decide to take that step out on the water, It’ll be alright. Life is so much more than what your eyes are seeing , you will find your way if you keep believing……..
What are your dreams? How CAN and WILL you make a difference if you were to raise the bar high and know that there is NO LIMIT to what you can do? What can you do today, and the next day, and the following days after that to bring you steps closer to your goals and dreams?
Faith = NO LIMITS
