I recently took a psychological personality test that was recommended by a family therapist. I was amazed at the accuracy of the results. Frankly, I was very surprised because I don’t usually put much stock in those types of test. But when I read the results I felt like someone had read my mail, my inner – unspoken thoughts. I felt understood, vindicated even…
…for the way I do certain things.
There was one thing that it revealed about my personality that I always felt selfish for needing, and most often denied myself.
You see, the test revealed that I am very much an extrovert {this is not new to those who know me} I find my greatest amount of energy and life from face to face contact with people. I have a huge appetite for face-to-face contact, but what is unusual about this particular personality type is that, unlike most extroverts, I need alone time to process…
…not just 5 minutes hiding in the bathroom from my kids. *grin*
When I read that I breathed a big “YES!” – I have been feeling it for so long… that void to have some quality alone time. As a mom, wife, and business owner I wear so many hats that I can begin to neglect my real self to the point that I will withdraw emotionally from those closest to me, my family.
I stop acting like the extroverted people person I am and begin to…
- stuff my need for quality, quiet, and undisturbed time
- allow my daily tasks to suffer.
- dream of going on personal retreats… ALONE… for weeks!
- lock myself in the bathroom for no reason but to be alone.
- find myself lingering in the car, quiet and alone, when I go to the store without my “entourage”
- stop wanting to play with my kids.
- get short tempered
Can you relate to any of this?
You see regardless of my personality, or whatever any test might say, I believe all of us have a God-designed need to be alone, quiet, and undisturbed to listen to and be refreshed by our Father.
It’s the enemy who positions things in life so that we don’t get it, we don’t insist on having it, or he makes us feel guilty for wanting to have it. What a sneaky lie!
To me, I fear that it looks selfish – when the truth is I would be less selfish if I had it on a regular basis. I fear it puts an imposition on others who must care for my kids and do my typical jobs when I’m gone. But the truth is I will be less effective if I’m denied the need that God gave me to retreat.
Jesus retreated to quiet and lonely places…
…shouldn’t we?
Maybe it’s just me, but between toilets that need to be cleaned, homework help, the love and attention kids and husbands need – a mom can be sucked dry of all she has to give.
We must value ourselves enough, and love our kids and husband enough, to make it a priority to get away, process, and be filled so that we can turn around and invest it right back into those God has entrusted to us. It is our God ordained calling to invest in them. Frankly, the investment is far better when it comes from my overflow, than when it comes from my leftover scraps.
Question: What about you? Do you ever feel guilty about getting alone time? How do you get away to be alone and refreshed? Does anyone in your life not understand this need? Share you comment by clicking here.
