Are you stuck in a rut?

Some can instantly say YES — I am stuck — it’s noticeable and gnawing at you daily.  There needs to be a change, but you’re not really sure what that looks like or are so accustom to the “rut” it seems impossible to get out.

For some, the answer might be a firm NO, or I don’t think so.  Things are going smoothly, right on track…going with the flow.  It’s the everyday routine, no major hiccups or road blocks.

Whether your answer is YES or NO — there comes a time when we all need to take a step back, get our noses-off-the-trunk-of-the-tree and evaluate where we are.  We need to “look at the forest” — take a birds eye view of life and ask the big question WHY?

…in all areas of our lives.

I had the opportunity to do this for the past 40 days.  I unplugged from all things distracting {eh hem…social media} and peeled back the layers of my life using the 5 Whys technique. It was refreshing and encouraging.

I discovered many things I didn’t know I needed to discover.  I was able to identify the “rut” I didn’t know I was in.  Because, honestly?  If you would’ve asked me the question, Are you stuck in a rut? My answer would’ve been NO — life is good…GREAT actually!

God had been open doors I didn’t knock on.  I was thrilled with what was happening with the book, Overcoming the Nevers, and speaking.  The Lord was blessing me with more coaching clients.  The family was healthy and flowing smoothly.  I was intentional daily about my emotional and spiritual growth.  What else could there be, right?

…wrong.

There was more.  More that God wanted me to see and hear, but I couldn’t until I took a step back.  I couldn’t until I was obedient to His sweet quiet voice telling me to unplug.

Over the next 3 Mondays I’m going to share with you three words that stood out to me at the airport, of all places.  They were extremely useful to me during my time unplugged.

But until then, I want to leave you with two questions to chew on:

1.  When was the last time you slowed down, took your nose-off-the-trunk-of-the-tree to evaluate your life, reflect?

2.  How would you or do you discover a “rut” you don’t know you’re in?

By three methods we may learn wisdom: First, by reflection, which is noblest; Second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third by experience, which is the bitterest. - Confucius

Photo Credit: jetsandzeppelins’ {Creative Commons}

It was 3 years ago today, this Sunday, Mother’s Day — that I will never forget.

To give you a clear picture why, I need to back up one day to Saturday. My boys were invited to a birthday party about an hour away from our home. The plan was — I bring them and I stay. I help their friend’s mom, my friend, with the party and when it’s over around 4:00pm, we drive home. I was excited for the day, it was a great opportunity for my friend and I to connect, catch up, and just enjoy the day.

We arrived around noon, the boys got acclimated and I had a mimosa. I enjoyed my drink while we interacted with the kids. We were having a lot of fun — games, lunch, presents, cake, great conversations, and laughter!  As the day progressed, so did my drinking…

…unfortunately

By 4:00, the time we had planned to drive an hour home, I was not capable of getting behind the wheel. I had had way too much to drink.  The mimosa at noon was followed by bottles of beer, too many to count.  For the safety of my nuggets and me, the decision was made to turn the afternoon party into a slumber party.

The decision was inconvenient for everyone.  My husband was at home anxiously waiting for us to return and enjoy the evening we had planned together as a family, that didn’t happen — he was disappointed.  The boys hadn’t packed any clothes, a sleeping bag, pillow, or a toothbrush — they were confused.  My friend was gracious and accommodating, but I know my irresponsibility altered her plans with the birthday boy.  For me?  I kept drinking.  Once the decision to stay was made, I switched to wine.  Eventually…

…I passed out on the couch

I woke up then next morning, Mother’s Day, feeling miserable, physically.  My head was pounding and I felt nauseous.  I peeled myself off the couch, attempted to help my friend pick up the mess, but my efforts were meaningless.  I got the boys, collected our things, and packed up the car.  We ventured home.

The boys and my husband were so excited it was Mother’s Day.  They wanted to go for a bike ride with me, take me out to lunch, play, have fun, make me feel special.  I could hardly function, all I wanted to do was sleep.  Just close my eyes and never wake up…

…I was irritable and disgusted with myself.

That was 3 years ago.  That was 3 days prior to the day I would take my last drink of alcohol.  Today, May 13 2012, is Mother’s Day, but it also marks 1,096 days of sobriety for me.  They just happen to fall on the same day.  I’m emotional as I sit here reflecting about that weekend, what alcohol did in my life {this is one miserable story of many}, and Mother’s Day.

I don’t need flowers or a card to celebrate this day.

I don’t need gifts, accolades, and acknowledgment from anyone because I am a mother.

Today I am full of gratitude and feel unbelievably blessed that God gave me the opportunity to be a mom to my two precious boys.  I give thanks to God, who gives me the strength, courage, and hope everyday to hold on to this priceless gift of sobriety.  This gift has allowed me to learn and grow and be a better mom.  This is the only Mother’s Day gift I need.  This gift allows me to give and live my purpose — this gift fills me with joy and makes my heart smile.

Happy Mother’s Day!

A mother is not a person to lean on, but a person to make leaning unnecessary. -Dorothy Canfield Fisher