My Life As a Failure: It’s Okay Not To Fit In
“Whoa! Look at that!”
“Mom … are you sure this is OUR hotel?”
These were the reactions of my kids on our last vacation as we pulled our tiny Subaru into the valet parking drive of a four-star hotel in downtown Colorado Springs. Because of the cost, we generally stay at lower-class hotels (think Holiday Inn), but this time we were able to manage something a bit nicer.
As we walked into the hotel after turning our car over to the valet, I looked back at our little buggy. We had come out of church the Sunday before to find a nice, big dent and scrape down one side and there hadn’t been time to get it fixed before leaving on vacation. I had nearly forgotten all about it.
…until I looked back.
What I saw when I looked back was a picture similar to the Beverly Hillbillies arriving at their new mansion. There were expensive, sleek looking cars lining the circle drive in front of the hotel … and then there was our car, tiny, dented and dirty from the drive.
I began to sense that “we-don’t-measure-up” feeling in the pit of my stomach. You know the one I mean – the one that causes you to look around and compare yourself to everyone in sight. What I saw didn’t help. Marble floors. Crystal chandeliers. Thin women with perfectly dressed children walking serenely about in the lobby. Ok, maybe they weren’t all thin … and not all of their children were walking serenely … but still.
That entire week I found myself battling the pressure of comparison. Nothing about me felt like it measured up. My hair wouldn’t cooperate, my clothes weren’t right, my kids weren’t wearing khaki pants or frilly dresses.
And then, during my (not so) quiet time one morning, sitting on the bed in our hotel room, I came across this verse:
“The Lord delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.” – Psalms 147:11 NIV
It struck me in that moment that even as I was sitting on that bed fussing over what I didn’t have, how I didn’t measure up, I was missing out on the best thing of all
…God delighting in me.
When we fear Him, seeking Him above all else, He DELIGHTS in us!
- No matter what we’re wearing.
- No matter what our hair looks like that day.
- No matter if our kids are shrieking and running around in circles.
If our eyes, our thoughts, our hearts are seeking Him, His Word tells us that He IS delighting in us.
The thought of that stopped me in my tracks. A smile lit up my face.
I realized that I didn’t need to compare myself or try to fit in with my surroundings. What matters isn’t what I’m wearing or if my car looks ridiculous to the valet. What matters is my heart.
So, I spent some time in prayer that morning asking God’s forgiveness and His aid in getting my heart in the right place. And then I set out to live what He had just reminded me of.
“Kids, let head to the pool!”
Question: Do you entertain “comparison-thoughts” that cause you to struggle with feelings like mine? Believing the lie you’re a failure? Share you comment by clicking here.