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We First Look at Ourselves

It’s not easy, is it? …looking at ourselves F I R S T.

Every bone in my body wants to look everywhere, outside of myself, for the source of the problem when relationships are strained and challenging or when a situation in life becomes an obstacle.

I get into “fix it” mode.

My mind goes through a laundry list of ideas about what could make it better; patch it all up. I determine, what I think, others could do to clean up or modify their behavior to rectify the situation…

…is this where your mind goes?

It took me a long time to realize, this “way of thinking” is backwards.  How did I realize it?  I didn’t work.  ever.

Telling others what I think about how they are living their lives and projecting blame upon people for problems or blaming them for a less than desirable outcome of a situation is exhausting and fruitless.  It doesn’t work on me, when I am the recipient of blame and when others use me as a scapegoat —  I don’t receive that well, even if it’s true.  Why would I think it would work for others?

I just like you, need to be ready to see or hear.  My heart needs to be willing to receive.  Just because someone points something out to me, it could be truth, doesn’t mean that I am ready or willing to see it.  Thus, we must…

…first look at ourselves.

We may not be able to control much of what is going on around us, but we get to choose what will be going on within us.  When faced with a problem or a difficult situation — practice “looking in the mirror” first.

It takes time for this to become our natural response; our initial path to take. Because, it’s not easy to accept that we cannot change others and the only person we have the power to do anything about is ourselves.  But the efforts are worth it and produce a more positive outcome.

When I can first look at myself I see these benefits:

  • I accept life on life’s terms easier
  • I surrender my will and look to God’s will for my life quicker
  • I get to know myself better, learn and become better
  • I am more compassionate and understanding of others
  • I have options and an opportunity to set boundaries that work for my life
  • I feel peace because I know that I can change me to get a different outcome
  • I extend grace towards others

When I don’t look at myself I get anxious, frustrated, irritable and controlling.  YUK!

“A nail is driven out by another nail; habit is overcome by habit” - Latin Proverb

Question:  Do you first look at yourself?  IF not, what prevents you from doing so?  Leave your comment by clicking here.



Teri is a writer, speaker, and sought-after personal growth expert. She enjoys running and taking pictures. Great conversations while sipping coffee and soaking up as many sunsets as she can, make her tick. She's passionate about helping others; an encourager and a cheerleader to many. Teri lives a joy-filled life deeply devoted to her husband, her two boys, and her relationship with God.
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  1. Amy Alves says:

    Good Morning Teri! Thanks for sharing some of the wisdom you have gained over learning to look in the mirror. I’m so THANKFUL that we serve a God who knows how to re-adjust our reflection! ~ Blessings out girl, Amy

    1. Teri says:

      YES. He. Does. — re-adjust! Looking in the mirror fuels our moving forward, IF we choose to do it. =) Thanks Amy!

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