I have written this beginning no less than 7 times.
The words have weighed on my heart and rattled around in my brain, but for some reason, they just don’t want to sit on this screen and communicate my heart.
You see, I’m a perfectionist. At least, that’s what I always thought.
‘Perfectionism’ has been my excuse. It became my scapegoat long ago, giving me a defense, a pardon, for my scrutiny and toiling, my procrastination and avoidance. When I lacked inspiration and just. couldn’t. get. it. right, perfectionism wore the blame.
…if I couldn’t do it well, I didn’t do it at all.
After all, shouldn’t a perfectionist deliver stunning results? Have something to show for all of that time spent planning, preparing, practicing, producing? In that wastebasket full of wadded up efforts, shouldn’t there be at least one bestseller, a master-piece of me?
It’s not that I’ve wanted to be perfect — I’ve always known that what I do … who I am … is far from perfect. It hasn’t even been about being the best.
I think what I have finally come to realize, is that perfectionism, at least for me, is far more about significance and meaning. I want to do something that matters.
Something that matters!
I want my life, my efforts, all of me to count for something.
Do you ever feel that way?
Friend, you do matter. In fact, you matter far more than you think. Not only are you a daughter of the King, God has gifted you and called you. He has put desires and dreams in your heart. For most of us, we have let distractions, busyness, good intentions, and worries mute the cry of our hearts and bury those God-given dreams. But they are there. Find them. Ask Him to open your eyes and soften your heart, that you might know His calling for you.
And as those dreams come alive again, trust Him. Follow Him. Obey His calling.
Maybe it’s true…
…maybe perfectionism is part of my nature, maybe it’s part of yours.
But either way, that label, that excuse, can no longer bear the blame. For it’s not perfectionism that stops us, that holds us back. It’s fear. Far too often, fear is the dictator of our lives.
And that’s not how we were called to live. He came,“to enable us to serve Him without fear, in holiness and righteousness before Him all our days!” (Luke 1:74)
“Through Christ Jesus, the law of the Spirit of life set [us] free! … [We] did not receive a spirit that makes [us] slave[s] to fear!” — Romans 8:2, 15
May we walk in that freedom, abiding in Christ Jesus’, perfect Love who drives out all fear! (1 John 4:18)
Have you ever let fear hold you back from pursuing God’s call on your life?